Santa (Remove filter)


Santa felt sassy and seasoned

Having switched from soda to whiskey

Stirred and slurred, his vision was blurred

Sleigh-driving was stupidly risky


Sloshing around but still seated

Strapped in, seemingly quite self-assured

Whilst swerving through Nice, he saluted the police

Whose chopper was wisely insured


Donna and Blitzen were startled

Dancer and Prancer were ma...

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Sod Santa!

'He's chubby and wise
And how his eyes glisten'
But…  Sod Santa, I say
Not that anyone listens
His damn sleigh is a nuisance
With high whistles and bells,
The lights and the fog horn
And wet reindeer smells
The noise, the commotion
The hurry, the fuss
The shouting and cursing
As he flies dawn to dusk
And I don't need the sound
of the hooves on my roof
Nor the turds t...

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