Is my confusion an illusion
Is my mind just playing games
All the demons and the monsters
Quick enough to lay the blame
Many questions left unanswered
And many answers make no sense
My only coping mechanism
Is self destruction or self defense
On the outside I may look happy
But I’m crumbling inside
All the feelings and emotions
Just so much easier to hide
If the lock could b...
Wednesday 18th May 2022 7:54 am
3 years ago, I viewed frogs as aliens
Now I wonder whether they’re angels
Months ago, I hated the sound of songbirds
Now I write their songs
I tweet along
Everything I did, I did do
It still was
Even if it no longer is
Whatever I am
I still am what I was
Even if I longer am
I was right and now I’m left
But the person I was hasn’t ...
Tuesday 1st February 2022 11:42 am
When death steal your tomorrow
leaving you with more questions than sorrows
What is life, so fragile, no time to waste
who am I, where do I belong, where is my space?
Memories painting a picture against the wall
trying to make sense of yesterday’s Fall
Some make you smile, some make you cry
there is nothing of yesterday to deny.
As time tempers the Mind and heals the Heart
the Soul is...
Tuesday 8th June 2021 8:11 pm
Every time the glass of your skull
Crashes into the fist of another memory
To crush you where you stand
Because another memory has broken you
Because another memory has entered you
Like intruders, they force their way inside
They punch their way into your attention
They invade your heart
Until you must look at them
All so that they can violate you again
Tuesday 23rd February 2021 6:29 pm
Locked away emotions
I won't let no-one inside
Behind a masked perfection
Is the place I run and hide
Alone I’m always thinking
My mind just fills with dread
Unknotting the confusion
That’s tied up inside my head
Trying to escape thoughts
But I can't find no way out
My eyes are slowly welling
My cries are silenced shouts
I'm looking for the answers
But they just never seem to come
Saturday 13th February 2021 5:31 pm
looming at me she's smiling
swerving to keep her at bay
I crossed double white lines
after that things went grey
waking in her brawny arms
she whispers words of love
how we were fated to meet
the way we fit hand in glove
concussion raddling my mind
my brain limps in reverse gear
random thoughts flit like fleas
one above all else, naken fear
Wednesday 10th February 2021 10:35 am
was lovely last Christmas
hugs amid a snow storm
face so bright and caring
mind in such good form
sharp, as bright as a pin
enjoying tinsel and pies,
no hint of grief to come,
warmth yet in grey eyes
change, a new confusion
not sure of time or day,
struggled finding words,
shopping, lost her way
I know his face, where...?
why cant I remember?...
Saturday 12th December 2020 10:32 am
my mind is a maze
a dark labyrinth
a closed trap
my thoughts run around like scared mice
they’re squeaking and scampering
and running around in a craze
delusional, one might say
loud and quiet and fast
they’re mad and shy and cry
but only because they’re terrified
they just want to be saved, to be heard
but my mouth doesn’t open
doesn’t say a word
it’s weak a...
Thursday 12th November 2020 3:01 am
Putting Out the Lamp
In the dusk of early evening, one day,
I awakened from a belated nap,
And came to find nobody back home yet,
Only the wall-lamp flickering away.
I, the child, quickly getting quailed,
Started to run away from the dark haunted place,
But soon stopped for looking backward
For some reasons I couldn't quite understand.
Probably it was the ...
Tuesday 15th September 2020 2:36 pm
Running through my head
Rumbles getting louder
Scared things might be said
Hide away in a closet
Because the sound is so loud
Hide from the truth
Because the truths not allowed
Thunderbolts they are striking
Flashbacks of a lad
A childhood in silence
Adolescence was sad
But storms they get stronger
They gain strength with time
The rain is now pouring
I’ve a hurricane m...
Wednesday 12th August 2020 9:04 pm
Mabel Jubb was a mystic, a deep thinker
She read philosophy, was often miles away
Her house was stacked with learned tomes
That she cherished and revelled in every day
Poor Mabel she was full of good intentions
She signed petitions and gave to the poor
But the lockdown became too much for her
The coastguard found her clothes along the shore
She'd never married tha...
Wednesday 10th June 2020 11:34 am
Scream and fight,
oh little mind.
An endless battle
between you two
Always more than one,
never black and white
so you always fight.
Heart for love and lies.
Brain for truth and pain.
Listen to me I'm struggling!
Both of you take too much,
I can't keep up.
Fight for me and not with each other.
Fight for us and not some lover.
We need eachoth...
Thursday 20th February 2020 12:41 pm
Like those magnificently lonesome trophies -
once hard fought for
with all our might and capacity
and then left to rot on the rocks;
abysmally, in perpetuity -
all laurels and triumphs get jaded and weary
dominions faded and supremacy sickly.
Every hard earned victory
once immaculate and pristine
succumbs to frivolous, lame apathy.
The slick sheen gather...
Sunday 19th January 2020 10:45 pm
Just take one minute
to step back
Just take one minute
to wonder why.
Just take one minute,
then, if you can,
take one minute more;
to work out what you need,
to decide just what this minute’s for.
Friday 17th January 2020 5:06 am
I last wrote about our five quite some time back,
a time when, for each of them, you and I (and mostly you)
still weighed in and sparred, day on day, in any cause,
on standby should they slip or fall – though close at hand is, perhaps,
the better way to say it, the gentle way to convey a sense of
our being technically unseen, absent, yet able to be found
by one or two, no more th...
Sunday 1st December 2019 1:26 pm
You can misplace your mind
You can't forfeit your mind
When you've built a fort for your mind
Mine is bulletproof,
I can stay outside of myself
I can step outside of the world
I watched us having a conversation
From my window panes
Through the heavy glaze
It made me feel some type...
Sunday 1st December 2019 12:56 pm
Is not mine
But our time
You’ve made your bed in my dreams
I lie in it
this isn’t me
I would part with my skin
If it weren’t attached
And never look back
Each night when I close my eyes for sleep
I see you in my head
Your feet poke out one side of your bed
It makes me giddy for you
I end up crawling in bes...
Thursday 15th August 2019 9:13 am
There is always one sacred moment
when the night's ink black sky
allows some personal atonement
to my dull and once-blind eye:
a single white star's icy reign,
absent in the deepest dark,
until the second that my brain
is riven by its diamond spark.
That this sheer shining crystal blazed
while hidden from my careful scan
can only leave me dumb, amazed
that the min...
Saturday 10th August 2019 12:18 pm
Let your voice be heard
Surely you earn and win
Let ideas more cleared
For all women and men
Tell me what do you think
How did you see yourself?
Freely talk, no blink
Why to keep it on shelf
Open mind and heart
Nobody is remaining fool
Surely you're smart
To become happy and cool
Sunday 14th April 2019 1:25 pm
It's time to let go.
It's time to move on from the past,
from whatever it is holding you back
The random pain from memories
coming back to you as if two years was instead, two months ago
It's time to be free of all that is not meant to be
You know and I know
The universe will show you which way to go
Find true connection from within
Only then will you find clarity...
Monday 4th February 2019 6:12 pm
When i look into your eyes
I know your still there somewhere inside
And as each passing day
Goes by I know another part of your memory dies
But you won't remember the goodbyes and it's hard not to sit here and cry
Because your trapped inside
All The confusion the conclusion
That your drifting away
Well I know that ships don’t stay long at bay
And will soon be h...
Saturday 2nd February 2019 2:29 pm
Your own mind is yours to keep,
as long as you don't decide to follow the sheep,
Start bending all reality, this will give you your own normality,
Dance in your own style and you will stand out a mile,
Sing songs where ever you go and put on your own one man show,
Do what you want, will make you full of glee,
Then you will find you will be absolutely free,
Freedom is a state of mind and thi...
Thursday 27th December 2018 11:42 am
My mind is my prison
when it should be my home
where I sit in front
of an open fire and
keep myself snug and warm.
Instead my prison guards
are my thoughts and
situations my bars,
together they keep me
in solitary confinement,
but I am always keeping
a close watch on my sentries
as they make their regular patrol
and I begin to see a pattern
to their s...
Thursday 11th October 2018 7:13 am
You cannot walk the journey for another man.
You cannot gift him with the perfect plan.
We all stand in the universe of our own creation.
A product of our limited expectation.
Many lust for the mantle of wisdom,
Only to create self-serving fiefdoms.
An old story stuck on reset.
What you give, is what you'll beget.
An old story stuck on reset.
What you give, is what ...
Wednesday 10th October 2018 7:45 pm
Whenever the bell rings.
Time to change so soon?
Oh thankyou for the gloom
Its not like I needed mental room
I'll just listen to your tune.
Is it time for bed,
Or are you not done yet?
This endless strain of thoughts
Feeling like I'm making a case In front of the courts
Barely awake, but barely conscious?
You'll wish you'd had your bedroom blessed
Wednesday 22nd August 2018 5:24 pm
hit with some starry metaphor like a hammer smash
can taste the iron of proxima's atmosphere
tangy on a tongue like steak was slapped.
In jest I speak but truly sweet holy fuck
when those twisted sibilant sentences scathe and scrape around the cranial pits.
Friday 3rd August 2018 12:21 am
I’m losing my mind.
Don’t you understand?
I’m desperately reaching out for your hand.
Don’t leave me hanging, slipping, falling…
down into the endless abyss of darkness,
Never destined to land.
You’ve saved me once before,
But this time there are no safety ropes.
I’m free-falling, plummeting, going down…
My only hope Is for you to save me now.
I’m losing my ...
Monday 18th June 2018 2:59 pm
Every moment to fear,
Forever holding back internal tears.
Life- so complicated,
The world too big, too scary,
my mind so full of queries.
Never certain, never happy,
each decision could be deadly.
An escapes impossible,
every outcomes implausible.
Sinking under water,
Always being taken for a martyr.
The pain runs so deep,
Barely able to ...
Sunday 17th June 2018 11:34 pm
in the dark.
While soaking up the night sky like lotion.
Stars shine bright,
like little fireflies dancing in a summer breeze.
I wish upon upon the biggest star,
while there’s a breeze between my shaking knees.
I bow my head and begin to weep
I fucked another one,
a lifeless soul.
Rubbing their flesh against m...
Wednesday 11th April 2018 6:56 am
perhaps one day i'l stop with this nonsense
but can you really escape your own fucking conscience?
Think future present past nothing will change unless you make it
when you see your chance you better take it
I should be wathcing the movie i paid to see
not worrying about my family
But unfortunately that's to much leisure
I deny myself that lovely pleasure
Who know's what you just might f...
Wednesday 14th February 2018 1:18 am
I should be focussing on the task at hand
yet i don't because theirs more interesting thing's in my head
i should be watching the movie that i paid to see
but i don't because theirs stuff to worry about
I should enjoy the train ride home listening to music on my phone
but unfortunately that's to much leisure
i must go back to thinking some more
Lying awake in bed at night...
Wednesday 14th February 2018 1:15 am
Ghostly thoughts formed from the heart tricking the mind to act on its request.
With filial piety the mind must acquiesce.
The mind does rule the heart to beat,
By the proclivity for the mind to obsess for the longings of the bard’s vessel’s vein,
Seduced by its mistress, the heart does reign.
Oh, the heart, she is a sly coquet.
Flirt as she will, there cannot be a lawful marriag...
Monday 11th December 2017 3:31 pm
Eyes that seek truth,
A heart that knows no bounds
A mind that eludes and intimidates
A soul that is and always was free
Determined and passionate
Emotional but strong
I can get through anything
Even when I don't want to
There are times when I do not know myself
These times are hard
Patience will show my path
I'm so grateful I was not alone
I'm still not al...
Tuesday 21st November 2017 3:50 pm
When the morning's flight
lifts the darkened blind,
and slows the speed of time,
be ready in your heart and mind
with gratitude, as you drift
on a sweet and quiet river,
lined by silent watchers;
remember their gifts, and the jewels
of the givers,
For that light is sure to glow
fierce and steady in your memory -...
Sunday 22nd October 2017 4:07 pm
Let the sound of the seas swell wash away the pain
Let the whoosh and crush of pebbles float away the strain
Morning light shimmering across flat sparkling sea
Morning swimmers lightly shivering as they rush to shore
Boys and girls peddle, skate and scoot by
Direction not known but heading for fun
Happy voices bouncing all around
Only early but excitement abounds
Saturday 26th August 2017 4:00 pm
It is a curse
To have a flying soul
And a cinderblock mind
To feel the call of the sky
But to be afraid of heights
I am Schrödinger's cat
Alive and dead
At the same time
Thursday 27th April 2017 12:59 am
Who am I suppose to be?
My mother tells me I must be strong, independent,
I must strive to make myself happy.
My dad says I must be smart, work hard,
I must dedicate my life to building a great one.
My heart says I must love others, care for others,
But what if that gets in the way of caring for myself?
My mind says to stay safe, to be cautious,
But this interferes with my ...
Monday 23rd January 2017 7:09 pm
I live in castles all over from here to Germany,
I don't get what I want always.
I get what I need, somehow.
I got what I deserved.
I do not share,
I'm very greedy.
I earned this?
My kingdom as fallen like a feather,
Torn down by the evil gnomes hunating me.
I've ruined my density,
These gnomes turn into a demon at the flick...
Tuesday 23rd August 2016 12:30 pm
Love brightens even more with the trees
My inner thoughts of you are translucent on my body
Every second with you feels like infinity
Infinite scares that you leave
Anything is possible with you
When I get lost
Your there to show me the way
I hope this explains how much I love you
Sometimes your love puts me in a trance
Words are difficult
Monday 1st August 2016 8:17 am
Unfinished words bewitchingly buzz
Swarming through my head like clusters of noise I can't ignore
As their mutter quickens the more I become aware I need to fulfill their purpose
Sunday 7th February 2016 5:03 pm
A twisted oak coiled round its self the perfect home for a mouse.
He climbed up a twisted branch and made his peace there, he built a nest of twine in the hollow center.
twine woven in brade, ants climbing up in parade. the army came to a hault and flead, they
feared for their lives and would rarther not be dead.
the stars a gemstone, the moon an ivory marble in a get jar.
Monday 17th August 2015 8:11 pm
It's five to three and my mind won't quiet
A million different thoughts congregated
In a rioted debate
I wait on the clock to stop but the
Tick tick tick is keeping me awake
Time stopping time from stopping.
It's strange, the unconscious brain
Like tapping into the universe
Body in a slumped heap
I lie awake with these thoughts
Ironically keeping me up
Friday 8th May 2015 11:32 pm
I killed a man. It was self defense. But God forgive me I killed him.
I told him, "Don't mess with me. You'll regret it." But he didn't listen. The next second he was writhing in pain. I could tell his knees wanted to buckle, but they held firm.
When I released him I said, "Walk out that door and don't mess with anyone ever." He turned as if to leave but lunged at me. The knife in his hand ...
Wednesday 16th April 2014 1:31 pm
Caring not one jot
For anyone else.
Me, me, me, me
I, I, I, I, I.
Get on with it.
M u u u meee
Give me your attention
Or I will cut.
Get on with it
Knicker elastic worn.
I can break you up
I will cut.
Get on with it
Wedge I will drive.
Your stealing my
M u u u meee
I will cut.
Monday 9th December 2013 4:39 am
Old Hammer Divine
My anxiety is like an ambush predator.
WHAM! I’m fucked...
Would you manage a year in my head?
I think you should...
...if you’re man enough then inbox me.
Into my head you shall go...
A mirror image of my town.
Shame it’s not Be...
Friday 10th May 2013 11:15 pm
That mourning I went to the woods,
misrepresented by madness.
Life chastened, clouds crept on whilst I cried up on my cross.
I picked obscure rose petals and placed them in abandoned jam jars.
I trampled on my spirit, a quiet cost.
I found an inner peace, like a pardon.
A new diadem excavated encircled my loss.
I danced on wet grass with God, crown festo...
Tuesday 11th October 2011 10:56 am
INTO MY MIND
Monochrome images swirl and collide on the surface of my mind,
round and round they go through the loops and coils of my brain.
Slowly they submerse themselves in colour, so much colour more
than in a rainbow.
Every image and sight I have ever seen is in here all waiting to show
themselves when the time is right.
The alcohol I had earli...
Saturday 1st October 2011 3:13 pm