I still remember

Cold faces in my bedroom

Smiling women in the dark

Slicked hair, teeth sharp

I still remember

The man whose legs

Popped out from under my bed

And I screamed

Broad daylight was frightening

Heart speeding, head beating

The men who moved closer towards me

All I could do was freeze

I’d stare back

With sucked breath, shaking knees

Day afte...

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hey lord, 

you know, im trying

im failing

im spiraling

im lost

i dont know myself

but lord, 

im trying

im trying so fucking hard

is this enough, lord?

i am confused, lord

when will i be able to sleep?

please....

help me

save me from the sins of my mind

and when you do,

please let me rest

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I have an eclectic palette

But you’re the only taste that matters

I used to roll my eyes when they said

A lover can be your refuge 

I thought turbulence feeds my drive 

But here we are

And it’s everything to feel safe in your arms

No more flight or fight with shaking hands

And anxiety, an egg in my throat 

A sickness that spreads

It always gives back 

Feeding its...

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Every room I enter feels like a stage, and I’m the actor that forgets the lines 
The constriction gnawing in my throat as I feel the acid burn 
I see their faces alight with joy, reeling in echoes of my defeat 
I bat my eyes, look to the floor with crumbling hands, the nails bitten off 
If only I could peel away the skin of doubt and wear something lighter
Tear away the facade of perfection t...

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