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(A re-post of a re-post. But you can't get too much culture)


My Santa you will never see upon your Christmas card,

The counterpart of Pere Noel: his brother, Pere Fouettard.

I know if I’m a good girl that his presents will be mine;

Le Pere Noel will visit me, avuncular, benign.


But if I’ve let my standards slip and been a naughty gel

There will be no Christmas gifts from saintly Pere Noel.

‘Cos if I’ve stained my copybook with morals loose and marred

I must await the stinging hand on me of Pere Fouettard.


“So come in from the cold, Monsieur.  Be seated on my bed

And reprimand this naughty girl and make my bottom red.

I do not care for chocolates, for slippers or a hanky

What I have planned is for your hand to spank me, Father. Spank me”.


So picture me on Santa’s knee as wrappings you unfurl

But make it hard, Monsieur Fouettard, I’ve been a naughty girl.




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John Coopey

Fri 20th Dec 2019 22:46

Quite, Don.

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Don Matthews

Fri 20th Dec 2019 21:44


My bit's shrunk over time.....

Eth says it's happened to her Bert too.....

Yes John, I'm only 4ft 6 now. Life wears you down....

These two have a habit of butting in. They're pensioners so we must be a bit gentle on them. We'll be like them one day John/Po.....

Before being butted in by Ethel and Bert I was about to say

My bit has shrunk, it's short
No longer can it rort
It's feeling so deflated
But life it that has tort

You too Don?.....

Careful what you say to your scriptwriter luv?

Who's he Eth?...

Go back to sleep.....



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Paul Sayer

Fri 20th Dec 2019 18:43

... "is it a tort to rort"?
I don't know,
however I think I ought!


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John Coopey

Fri 20th Dec 2019 18:20

Don - is it a tort to rort?

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Don Matthews

Fri 20th Dec 2019 11:14

I did a bit of rorting
(Sharp practice) when was young
When used on youngish ladies
All I got was stung

I'd advise against rorting (sharp practice type) at our age John. Waste of time. Ladies just not interested.


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John Coopey

Fri 20th Dec 2019 10:03

A “rort”, Don? You’ve taught me a word I didn’t know. Google also says it means to engage in sharp practice in Strine.

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Don Matthews

Fri 20th Dec 2019 00:35

A hanky is for blowing nose
Or so I thought was taught
While panky brings its problems
At wild parties (a rort)

Stick to the hanky at our age John. It's safer...


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Paul Sayer

Thu 19th Dec 2019 22:52


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John Coopey

Thu 19th Dec 2019 09:01

At my time of life, P.O., hanky still has its attractions. But panky is more problematic.

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Paul Sayer

Wed 18th Dec 2019 17:30

This is wonderbar as opposed to wonderbra

NO! No hanky, lots of hanky panky.

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