THE SLASH APRON

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(Been thinking)

 

It came to me in a flash. Or rather, a slash.

How old men seem inexorably drawn towards wearing beige and then how unsuitable that is, given their lack of equipment control and subsequent piss stains down their front.

So (PATENT PENDING) The Slash Apron.

Made of pliable and washable but impervious plastic, when not in use it tucks neatly inside your kecks where it can be easily accessed when called upon in a hurry.

You saw it here first.  The Slash Apron™.

◄ RITES OF PASSAGE

BORN TOO LATE ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Fri 16th Aug 2019 15:32

I shall incorporate BOGOF within my pricing structure eventually, MC.

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 16th Aug 2019 14:36

Fortunately, I'd had a pee before I found this blog and comments.
Otherwise, I might have had an accident that would have seen me
very sympathetic to the idea from JC. I am still smiling as I tap
out this comment. I always DID think WOL was actually
the home of "creative writing" rather than poetry per se - SO...
If you seek a little invention
That avoids urine retention
And the unsightly sort of splash
That can come with the need to dash
To enable kidney relief
Apply to its inventor in chief,
(He might do "five for three")
Whether your problem is big or "wee"!!!!

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Don Matthews

Fri 16th Aug 2019 09:18

Lisa- it seems John is having trouble getting production line workers. They want more take-home pay. Seems he won't more pay than he's offering to make these completely-unknown-never-seen-before piss-stain-stoppers. Keep at it John.

Lisa- I'm sure John has a kind heart. I'm sure he will send the used prototype to tide you over till Christmas, gratis. Free delivery and all. I'm sure it will have passed all the safety tests and still be well within its use by date.

That's not you I can hear pissing with laughter down the wire is it?

No, I think it's me.....😋

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John Coopey

Fri 16th Aug 2019 08:23

You’re onto something there, Kev. I’ll see what I’ve got in stock.
Lisa/Don I have a small production delay. Problems with the support (see above). I could send the used and tested prototype I have been using since Tuesday..

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kJ Walker

Fri 16th Aug 2019 07:30

It's a good idea John, but I just can't see how it will stay in position. Now if someone were to invent a pair of straps to support it. He could call such straps carabiner-braces.

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Lisa C Bassignani

Fri 16th Aug 2019 01:33

International shipping is always an issue...perhaps for Christmas then ☺

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Don Matthews

Fri 16th Aug 2019 01:18

John's just pondering a reply......

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Lisa C Bassignani

Fri 16th Aug 2019 00:38

Brilliant

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Don Matthews

Fri 16th Aug 2019 00:13

Lisa - you are getting fussy now. You know boys wear blue and not pink. Heard a whisper that J's having trouble organizing Slash transport across the pond. Pilots (I've heard) are pissing themselves laughing on takeoff. Only a whisper though. I'm sure John is taking the matter in hand. You're gonna have to hang tight while he sorts this laughing policeman, no pilot problem out.....jeez, he does have problems. All self-inflicted though Lisa. Poor boy.....

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John Coopey

Fri 16th Aug 2019 00:06

Thank God, Graham. I thought I'd upset the sisterhood. Luckily, it's not commercial as such as I haven't made any sales as yet.
Don - thanks for your further thoughts. I shall certainly look into that.
Lisa - I plan to cut them out of the McDonald tartan material I have on my deckchair.

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Lisa C Bassignani

Thu 15th Aug 2019 23:55

Oh...I so needed a good laugh! Thanks guys.

John he's a big guy, so large. Do they come in different colors or just the standard beige?

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Don Matthews

Thu 15th Aug 2019 23:54

John, I'm sorry to say
The T's and C's of Slash
Utter rubbish they seem to be
I think you've done your dash

Sorry 'bout that.....😌

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 15th Aug 2019 23:42

It is to do with your entry being regarded as commercial spam.

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Don Matthews

Thu 15th Aug 2019 23:41

My dad's piss is busting
I needs overnight
Where's Amazon Coops?
Am Prime? nah, not right......

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Don Matthews

Thu 15th Aug 2019 23:36

2.4.7. WOL section?
Can't find it? (dumb me)
Must somewhere be hiding
New technology?

T&C's got me stumped
DIY yep, I get
Perhaps it's a new thing?
Watch P's and Q's John ?.....

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John Coopey

Thu 15th Aug 2019 23:26

Is that about Equal Opportunities for women, Graham? I'll bet a TENA it is.
If your need is urgent, Don, you might want to order Next Day Delivery with Amazon Prime.

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John Coopey

Thu 15th Aug 2019 23:22

How do you feel about asking him if he requires small, medium or large, Lisa?

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Don Matthews

Thu 15th Aug 2019 23:20

I got a jingle
To help sell your slasher
"Buy one for daddy to stop his piss crasher" (Copyrighted -you heard it here first)

Maybe we could do a deal John?.....😛

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 15th Aug 2019 23:15

Not sure whether this contravenes section 2.4.7 of WOL's T&C's?

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Lisa C Bassignani

Thu 15th Aug 2019 23:02

I'll take a dozen! Dad's birthday is next week. I was wondering just what the heck to get the old man....Perfect!

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