THE SLASH APRON
It came to me in a flash. Or rather, a slash.
How old men seem inexorably drawn towards wearing beige and then how unsuitable that is, given their lack of equipment control and subsequent piss stains down their front.
So (PATENT PENDING) The Slash Apron.
Made of pliable and washable but impervious plastic, when not in use it tucks neatly inside your kecks where it can be easily accessed when called upon in a hurry.
You saw it here first. The Slash Apron™.