(Inspired by this wonderful advertisement for Lux.  I needed to change it to Camay for the rhythm.  A racing cert for Poem of the Week)

 

Freshen up your flaps with Camay

Fol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol la

It’s the soap for whiffy fanny

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Banish thoughts of Aldi salmon

Fol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol la

If you’re hoping for a gamming.

Fol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol la

 

You won’t want to be a hippy

Stinking like your local chippie

If you’re hoping for a diner

Lunching on your cute vagina.

 

And for all you Tena ladies

Leaking urine in Mercedes

Camay’s fresheners clearly showed us

That it masks the pissy odours.

 

Equally for men or women

Camay’s is the scent for rimming

Gentlemen inclined to gayness

Find it sweetens up their anus.

 

Take the case of Rod and Roger

Rog now lathers up Rod’s todger

This avoids Rog feeling queasy

Now Rod’s rod’s no longer cheesey.

 

So ladies take heed of this warning

Before your gentleman starts horning

Don’t risk giving him trench fever

Scrub with Camay on your beaver.

 

Cos you won’t want your box to smell rank

If there’s chance he’ll clean the fish-tank

Don’t remind him of his granny

But freshen up your flaps with Camay.