Chess Pains !


Chess Pains!


Yet another chess convention

called upon the monthly pension.

Crusty codgers, ‘ coffin - dodgers’.

Reek of mothballs (best not mention!)


Hotel filled with ancient blokes,

bragging of their master-strokes.

‘Castle-crashers’, ‘Bishop-bashers!’

Cracking ‘chess-related’ jokes!


The old ‘ Grand Master’ then appeared,

to boast and crow (whilst others cheered)

of Knights and Kings and ‘ chessy’ things

and ‘ check-mate’ moves, he’d engineered.


Some ‘ flagging’ guests, amidst the roars,

flung open all the foyer doors.

To cool the hall, before they all

continued with their loud applause.


The hotel boss (a surly ‘pain’)

arrived to close the doors again.

She did not care that their ‘ hot air’

could not escape, to still remain.


The guests were loathe to, then, annoy her

(wary of her paranoia).

As she cried “I won’t abide,

‘chess-nuts’ boasting in an open foyer!”


humorous versehumour

◄ Surprise Party!

A 'Fitting' Tale. ►


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John Andrew Nield

Mon 20th May 2019 16:08

Cheers, Brian. My elbow has more! ?

<Deleted User> (18980)

Mon 20th May 2019 16:06

John - if you wrote the whole piece to give the punchline something to cling on to then I say more power to your elbow!

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Mon 20th May 2019 15:15

A thoroughly enjoyable romp. Rhyme at its wittiest and a sense of crowd camaraderie. I had heard the punchline being a musician for years. Look forward to more cheering up poetry John . Ray

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 20th May 2019 14:29

Tis clear that you are on a roll
With deft delights in matters droll.

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Graham Sherwood

Mon 20th May 2019 14:11

Reminds me 'sliding a gong on the chest of a slave' etc etc

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mona s

Mon 20th May 2019 13:03

Oh, such a hilarious one.. Really enjoyed the chess mate?

<Deleted User> (21487)

Mon 20th May 2019 12:20

You have done it again - absolutely hilarious - i love the punch line.

Can't wait for your next poem.

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John Andrew Nield

Mon 20th May 2019 11:17

Thanks for that, Rose. So glad you liked it. I'm more a 'noughts & crosses' kind of guy, though. That's my level ! ?

Rose Casserley

Mon 20th May 2019 10:56

John, what a fantaz piece! laughed me fishnets off to this clever slice of jocularity ? and I'm a sucker for wordplay

as for chess? beyond my capabilities dude or put another way, give me Connect four every time!

Rose ?

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