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To all you brave young shavers contemplating marriage vows

I offer this advice to ward off arguments and rows.

The Vicar he will tell you, ‘‘Marriage is a partnership’’

But very soon you’ll find out when the pretence starts to slip

That your experience mirrors mine which (only half in jest)

Is on every single matter –

I’ve found Our Gert knows best.


You may think the time is right for children or indeed may not

You may think it’s time that you moved house (or stick with what you’ve got)

You’re offered a promotion to those bigger, better jobs

But that means relocation; so then you hear the sobs;

On all these issues I’d defer because I’m Heaven blessed

With a wife who’s full of wisdom –

          I’ve found Our Gert knows best.


The pundits on the telly and the politicians too

Are wanting in solutions when compared with Our Gert’s view

She’s solved the housing shortage and the plastic in the seas,

The Middle East, world hunger and decline of honey bees;

Those prats on talent shows like Simon Cowell and the rest

Know bugger all about what’s what –

          Instead Our Gert knows best.


And so to recapitulate for all young Turks out there

About to buy a ring that makes the two of you a pair

Take heed from one of billions who has trod the self-same path

And do it in full knowledge of its certain aftermath;

The pledge to honour and obey your every behest

Will last no longer than the cake  –

          You’ll find Your Gert knows best.




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John Coopey

Tue 19th Mar 2019 21:39

Many thanks, Ray, and “likers” Kev and Bryan.
I wrote this with the son of friends who was about to get married in mind.
The other interesting thing here (for me, not you) is how a poem fixes time and place for me. I wrote it in Christchurch while Our Gert was shopping in The supermarket on the day South Korea knocked Germany out of the World Cup last year.

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Tue 19th Mar 2019 19:39

the important ingredient to any marriage is to avoid at any cost the price of silent disapproval John. Obviously humour sharp edged comes a close second, and I think to follow the grain when applying sandpaper. In the style of Les Dawson: the maximum penalty for bigamy is two mothers in law.


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John Coopey

Mon 18th Mar 2019 19:40

Many thanks, MC and Dorothy.
I am sometimes bemused by cries of Equality for Women. Of all my married friends There isn’t a single couple, myself included, where the wife isn’t in charge.

<Deleted User> (21487)

Mon 18th Mar 2019 16:59

I loved this poem - I loved the rhythm - i loved the humour - but most of all I am so glad you recognized the truth. mmmmmm ?


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M.C. Newberry

Mon 18th Mar 2019 14:13

Another gem from a reliable source of entertaining (and challenging)
poetry. The attraction being not only the rhythm but also the choice of the words used, and the feeling that there is some reality behind them. A difficult trick to pull off successfully but no one does it better..
Sometimes I think a female in the place might be rather nice
But then I find myself thinking not just once - but twice.
To those who choose to take the vows that join man and wife -
I say to them "good luck old son - I'll take the single life". ?

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John Coopey

Mon 18th Mar 2019 07:34

Thankyou Jason.
I wouldn’t swop her for a gold pig, Frances.

Frances Macaulay Forde

Mon 18th Mar 2019 04:23

Ha-Ha! And you love her dearly....

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Jason Bayliss

Sun 17th Mar 2019 22:39

Oh yes, and a truer word was never spoken!?


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