GAYS

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(A re-post.  I wrote this a couple of years ago when the Church of England announced that it would allow gay clergy to become bishops but with the perverse stipulation that they were not allowed to have sex).

 

Thankyou for the gays

Who nowadays

Lead “Songs of Praise”

On Sundays;

The pink and purple gays

Can take their picks

Of bishoprics

From Leith to Lundy.

 

The Pontifex

Says he objects

 It’s “No” to sex

So give that wish up;

A man of cloth

Can plight his troth

But must jack off

If he’s a bishop.

 

Gays, who for years we would besmirch

Gays, now are vicars in the Church;

Live normal lives,

Enjoy a pie, a cig, a pint or even piss-up;

Have blokes for wives

But must abstain from shagging Wayne

Now he’s a bishop.

 

I wish that bishops could tomorrow

Be free as me to spit or swallow openly

 

Thankyou for the gays

Who nowadays

Lead “Songs of Praise”

On Sundays;

The pink and purple gays

Can take their picks

Of bishoprics

From Leith to Lundy.

 

But if you’re queer

Well never fear

For help is near

For Nige and Quentin;

Just keep well hid

What they forbid;

Deny you did

Just like Bill Clinton.

◄ INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S WEEK

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Comments

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John Coopey

Tue 5th Mar 2019 18:42

Thanks, Ray. There were some tight spaces to turn the rhymes round in.
Dorothy - many thanks for your thoughts.

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Dorothy Webb

Tue 5th Mar 2019 17:12

John So well said.

M.C I agree with you, lurching is never pretty and the last three lines of your comment exposes the lack of empathy shown by their 'leaders'

The Catholic Church is guilty of preaching love - and then denying their clergy the right to love. How can that be justified?

What is wrong with love?

"Ours not to reason why" - as they say.

Dorothy Webb

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raypool

Tue 5th Mar 2019 14:46

I very much enjoyed this John. Anything that shines a light on hypocritical moral supremacy has to ask for it. Puncturing the Pontiff should be applauded. If I have one criticism it is that one or two of the characters have been overblown. (oops).

Actually it is bloody cleverly put together!

Ray

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John Coopey

Tue 5th Mar 2019 13:21

Thanks, MC. The Church (particularly the Catholic Church) has got a lot of recovering to do at the moment.
Are you familiar with the song?

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 5th Mar 2019 12:12

The theme still has relevance, that's for sure.
The established Church
Continues to lurch -
Uncertain of its direction;
Sometimes left (rarely right!)
It hides in plain sight,
Deploring manly affection.
When push comes to shove
On the subject of love
Its leaders declare an objection.

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John Coopey

Tue 5th Mar 2019 08:46

Kinky, eh, Don?

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Don Matthews

Tue 5th Mar 2019 07:24

An interesting re-post John
The Church allowing gays
But not permitting sex at night
Not even during day?

Now if they let their priests go wed
And not stay celibate
They may not then get itchy balls
And look for child to bait?

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