The Bessecarr Teabag Famine



The Bessecarr Teabag Famine


The sun beat so hard, it stripped bark from the trees

And it dried out the song thrush’s song

I’d a mouth like the base of a birdcage  

And a tongue like a yak dealer’s thong


It’s thirsty work, working in Bessacarr

With the midday sun beating through

But the village was struck by a teabag-famine

So there was no chance of getting a brew


Their caddies were wrecked by Typhoo Weevil

Their Earl Grey was suffering from blight

That’s the reason that nobody made me a brew

And there was me….. thinking they’re tight



 I thought “Is that a mirage, or am I seeing things”

Was Clarabelle makin’ some tea?

Well if she did, it was just for herself

And there was none in the pot left for me


It struck hard, this Bessecarr-teabag-famine

When coupled with dry-kettle-drought

They’d plenty of water for washing their Mercs

But for makin’ a brew, they’d got nowt


When pestilence has blighted their Tetley’s

A brew is too much of an ask

So next time I’m working in Bessecarr

I’ll remember to take me a flask






◄ The Black Pudding Hunt

When Hesketh Boggins Caused A K'fuffle ►


<Deleted User> (19913)

Sun 17th Feb 2019 20:11

How have I not discovered you? Wonderful. There's nothi' like a good cuppa.

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John Coopey

Wed 13th Feb 2019 00:32

What was a Grimstone Low lad doing in Bessacarrr?
See you Thurs.

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 10th Feb 2019 16:14

These lines thinking had me got...
About how best to go to pot! 😊

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kJ Walker

Sun 10th Feb 2019 08:47

Thanks Brian, Keith and Jason.
I half wrote this (in my head) one morning last week. Before I actually put pen to paper we were given a nice cuppa at each of our next jobs in Bessecarr. That should have cancelled out the mornings tea-drought, but as the idea was already formulated I went ahead with it anyway.

Cheers Kevin

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Jason Bayliss

Sun 10th Feb 2019 01:47

"Tongue like a yak dealers thong!" 😂😂

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keith jeffries

Sat 9th Feb 2019 22:53


Another gem for the repertoire. I use tea bags for a quick cuppa but nothing can surpass getting out the tea pot, a touch of hot wáter to give some warmth before adding a few spoonfuls of loose tea. Perfect for dunking.I am a Little concerned about Clarabelle. Deprive her of biscuuits. That might make her sit up.

Great as ever.
Thank you


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Brian Maryon

Sat 9th Feb 2019 22:30

That Clarabelle...she's a selfish cow and that's a fact!

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