Improving my Poetry with Help from the Temple Builder

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Improving my Poetry with Help from the Temple Builder

 

Been told don't know what poetry is what it isn't

By the great Temple Builder and Preacher

Guess that's what I get for living upside-

Down with a pretty bad teacher

 

The following excerpt he tells me

Is poetry inspired from above

I'm trying my hardest to understand it

This poem, which I know I should love

 

Excerpt from poem “Aspiring Poets Wanted'

(by the Temple Builder 17/1/19)

 

'We as the Temple of Indomitable Poetry will become a home

for all those seeking more than the subtle trolls and pretention of Write Out Loud's lower echelons, and not simply stagnate.

 

If you (the moderators) choose to delete this post (read poem) because you say it does not adhere to your (read poetry) rules then be ready for your own share of 'pain-in-the-ass' '

 

I do know that poetry's got rhythm

But not necessarily rhyme

For the life of me can't see any rhythm

No rhythm in any of these lines

 

Perhaps the Temple Builder he forgot to

Do repairs, adding rhythm where required

Or perhaps used an ignorant assistant

With no poetry knowledge that he had hired

 

Then again I could be completely off track here

Not tuned into Temple's high plane

After all I'm just a pleb with no knowledge

Refusing to be flushed down the drain

 

Don Matthews January 2019

 

◄ Spruiking for the Temple (a light-hearted satire)

Builder's Shitty What a Pity ►

Comments

Big Sal

Wed 30th Jan 2019 15:39

At least I can write.😆😅

AND STILL I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO HIT LIKE ON THIS HAHAHAHAHAHA

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 30th Jan 2019 15:15

Big Sal - when I commented on one of your earliest entries I got a
more measured reply than is the case now. Get off your high horse
and stop assuming the position that you're on some sort of crusade
against right-wingers(?), old(?) white(?) rhymers(?) who are bent
on your destruction...as if! What is written and placed on this site is
open to interpretation & valuation and if comment is forthcoming then
a rational reply is surely the best response, not a diatribe of disdain
intended to defame the critic's motives or mental/physical characteristics. .

Big Sal

Wed 30th Jan 2019 14:38

Keep referencing me MC and I'll blow your name up too.

I've been relatively cool through this all considering you both began your bullshit by snarkily commenting on my work to begin with.

You both only comment about me or write poems referencing me or my words when you both get your fragile little egos hurt.

Man you must be in love to keep talking about me indirectly. 💕

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 30th Jan 2019 14:34

Well, I have enjoyed these exchanges for the various views expressed. The vehemence is on show but generalities should be
carefully avoided. Don't criticise on any grounds that include age
and other perceived distinguishing personal characteristics and yet
adopt these as a defence or justification for what is used by yourself.
Don't resort to mention of mental states in criticism as these are not
only distasteful cheap shots, they are also likely to backfire
when reading the work available from the critic. Enjoy what you do
but try to refrain from taking yourself or your work too seriously,
whatever your style or your message. Life's too short = and we
should absorb its punches with whatever grace and good manners
we are equipped with.- and respond in kind..

Big Sal

Wed 30th Jan 2019 13:28

"My my" what is it with you little people thinking that THAT is any sort of come back?

We might as well say the same to you.

My, my, you're one to talk you hypocrite. And who needs to block you? No one even reads your work anyway. (PS genius, I only read the ones you put up that say some dumb shit like "Temple" or "Temple Builder" because then I know your fragile little ego is about to implode with some half-ass rhyme a child could have come up with.

Don't shoot yourself in the foot, save it for somewhere else. And next time come fully loaded Chris Kyle.😁

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Don Matthews

Wed 30th Jan 2019 13:24

My my... I have stirred up a snake pit here......Simple solution. If you don't like what I write, just block me. Sorted. Trouble is you won't be able to read and respond. Nor know what others are seeing... 😎

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lisa donohoe

Wed 30th Jan 2019 13:01

Im not driven by my ego 😃
I dont write for likes, nor do I share poems for boosting..
I just do it because I enjoy it my friend.. Im happy to write regardless of opinions. but thank you 😉

Big Sal

Wed 30th Jan 2019 12:54

There. I even hit 'like' on your little poem since no one else outside of MC or Brian probably will.

😂

Now stop writing about me Donny Boy.👍

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lisa donohoe

Wed 30th Jan 2019 12:30

NOT MY CIRCUS
NOT MY MONKEY'S...

TWO WRONGS DO NOT MAKE A RIGHT!!!

Big Sal

Wed 30th Jan 2019 12:19

He's just pissed Lisa because:

1. He can dish it but can't take it

2. He really thinks he can rhyme


This is all they can do now, Lisa. Truth means nothing to these people. It's all about semantics with them.

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lisa donohoe

Wed 30th Jan 2019 11:55

I do hope I am not the ignorant so called assistant you are referring to???

I am no one's assistant.. I speak my mind and stand up to bullys and thats all I did... To put someone down because of dyslexia is an awful thing..
That's a low blow for anyone human being to do...

I observe everything , I can say whole heartedly that its not only you who has allowed ego to do the talking...
My poems wore for my own amusement,
FYI.. Snakesssss was about many on this site and not based on another...
I really thought this was a lovely warm place to express one's self.... I was wrong...
I am far from arrogant and I will not be called something that does not define who I am

Big Sal

Wed 30th Jan 2019 10:48

You must love copying and pasting my words because every time you come on that's literally what your last 3-4 poems have been about.

I invited you, you ignored me, now you wanna act like I did something wrong to you bruh. Get a life, stop talking about me, and start writing REAL poetry that doesn't have shit to do with a "Temple Builder".

At least I'm attempting to do something good with my words, all you seem to do is complain and cry about hurt feelings.

Keep it up and I can't help but respond from here on out. We have Dennis Rodman over here playing pretend peacekeeper. 👌😎 Damn man you're sooooooooooo cool!

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Don Matthews

Wed 30th Jan 2019 07:12

I've been hibernating
Like some poetic monk
Absorbing Builders wisdom
Slowly chunk by chunk

Longing for to lie with
Longing for to share
Poetry with half-clad nymphs
Lying everywhere

(Temple floor strewn with half-clad poetry-reading nymphs -as mentioned before...)

Seems the Temple Builder
Doesn't want to share
Lovely nymphs all lying round
On the floor half bare

T'would be nice if Builder
Could join in the humour
And not get so hung up on
Some malignant tumour 😎

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