as if the embers are grasped
resist the turmoil of anger
but it must happen
when love binds the soul

even though it is bitterly mingling
painful tears pool in the lids
should it spill in the patter

I held a blank shadow
and I tasted the sweetness of bile
I say a thousand times restraint
but the word droops without meaning

when I stumble hard
I count the sound of the gecko breaking the night
angry ... not ... angry ... not ... angry ...
should I be angry
when love wraps the soul

seconds of slowly inching time move day
back the sound of the gecko breaking down
hate ... love ... hate ... love ... hate ...
should I hate
when you want to wrap your soul

I can't
I can't scold her
I can't
I can't hate her

because You have it

I kneel in a frenzy
Everything is up to You
all of Yours
Your will can happen, Lord

I was silent in surrender

***
Solo-Indonesia, Sat, 15th December 2018. 00:10 am
'with love and peace'
Suko Waspodo

ilustr: Mollie Kellogg