LONELY RACONTEUR

He'll tell you what you already know

or don't wish to know,

the choice is limitless

the vision narrow,

a window of opportunity for him. 

 

He is pleased with his delivery,

your reactions are superfluous.

It may be the revelation of a recent operation,

the exciting follow up,

his memory for detail staggering

as he watched it onscreen

like kebabs under cool lights. 

 

It could be the answer to a global problem homespun,

an old wives' tale dredged up

your view is immaterial. 

He is pleased with his delivery,

you pray for your own. 

 

When finally he leaves

you watch this empty box of tricks recede,

consider kissing that empty space in relief,

but not without a flutter of sympathy

that hovers over him like a pigeon at toilet. 

◄ AT THE A & R

BYE BYE BLACKBIRD ►

Comments

Profile image

raypool

Thu 12th Jul 2018 23:05

I guess this is a quite extreme example of the type Hannah, but to define that you have to go for the jugular. I think the lonely aspect is the real cause. Thanks for commenting.

Ray

Profile image

Hannah Collins

Thu 12th Jul 2018 20:53

This is one of your best Ray.
We've all met people like this.
Often a lot of wisdom, down to earth politics but also, as you say, a relief when they stop !
Excellent.

Hannah

Profile image

raypool

Tue 10th Jul 2018 16:23

Thanks you for your lovely comment Martin. Makes it all worthwhile - just playing with double meanings can bear fruit, as we all know!

Suki, back to you - I read this last night after a wait of an hour and a half - stifling. It did get some laughs!

Ray

Profile image

Martin Elder

Tue 10th Jul 2018 14:44

Every line is superb here. There is always one in every crowd who has a story or some degree of knowledge about almost anything regardless if there is any veracity to what they are saying.
I love
'he is pleased with his delivery, you pray for one of your own'
marvellous

Profile image

raypool

Tue 10th Jul 2018 11:01

Yes, a hole in one, Mark ! Thanks.

Ray

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Mon 9th Jul 2018 17:43

Any regular in a pub will know of this sort. Happy to talk AT
you, rather than chat WITH you.

Profile image

raypool

Mon 9th Jul 2018 12:25

I'm glad you enjoyed this piece Frances, thanks! No stars for spotting him!

Ray

Profile image

Frances Macaulay Forde

Mon 9th Jul 2018 02:48

Yes, very clever, Ray... and so relatable.

Profile image

raypool

Sun 8th Jul 2018 22:17

HI there Anya. Thank you for that, appreciated !

Cynthia, I'm please you liked this: A bit of a balancing act to get right I think, but yes I signed off with pleasure!

Suki, I know your own humour is wacky so it's good you get the idea here. I think we all know this character. A friend of mine was introduced to another musician(a life story is needed for him) with the opening greeting: "Hi, i'm Brian, I've got cancer." He could be the man in the poem.


Just to say I rewrote this entirely three times to change the approach . Thank you all for appreciating it!

Also the extra likes, Tom, Kevin, Jon and Damon. Cheers.

Profile image

suki spangles

Sun 8th Jul 2018 22:04

Hi there Ray,

Fabulous humorous imagery, with some laugh-out-loud lines:

his memory for detail staggering
as he watched it onscreen
like kebabs under cool lights..

He is pleased with his delivery,
you pray for your own.

Well, yeah. That's the cynical hack. Agree with Cynthia too - the final last verse, the knock-out punch.

This would work well performed live I reckon.

Thanks for sharing, and the laughs!


Cheers,
Suki

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 8th Jul 2018 19:42

Splendid portrait. Outstanding final imagery!

Profile image

Anya

Sun 8th Jul 2018 04:20

Hi Ray,

Wonderful, as always... xx

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message