BYE BYE BLACKBIRD

Something about that eye

not seeing,

not knowing me there

is like a dream

 

of soaring free

the gripping of a branch

consensual sex on the wing.

 

Beside me now on the spade

while clawing at nothing,

it seems unconcerned

 

while the bright beads of bluebottles

steer her to the earth. 

◄ LONELY RACONTEUR

RICTUS GRINS AND STRAIGHT FACES ►

Comments

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raypool

Fri 20th Jul 2018 19:47

Thanks JR for liking this one....

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J R Harris

Fri 20th Jul 2018 17:26

Excellent 😎

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raypool

Thu 19th Jul 2018 16:40

Appreciated Jon; i'm pleased with it. I think the impact of an experience is a challenge to put into words.

Thanks for all the likes: Jane and Darren.

Ray

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john short

Thu 19th Jul 2018 12:34

Hi Ray, liked this one very much. A little snapshot of reality. Evocative, you can smell the earth and insects. And it has depth. Well done!

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raypool

Wed 18th Jul 2018 15:53

Thanks for liking Jon !


Glad you like it Jane, thanks.

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Jane Briganti

Wed 18th Jul 2018 14:31

A poem with profound meaning. Congratulations!

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raypool

Thu 12th Jul 2018 23:02

Many thanks Hannah. Glad you liked it.

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Hannah Collins

Thu 12th Jul 2018 20:49

Beautiful poetry Ray.
One to read many times.

Hannah

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raypool

Thu 12th Jul 2018 20:46

Thanks so much Graham. Something with this did click in my mind after thinning it down to essentials. Burying a bird recently departed was rather upsetting.


I bathe in your approbation Stu. I feel rewarded.


Thanks Col. I called the poem Dead Blackbird at first, but yes I referred back to the old favourite. The Chet Baker clip was lovely, smoke and all. Appreciated.


Lovely comment Suki. What can I say? you've made my day!


So pleased this ticked your box Laura. I did think that the moment was profound, and reading it many times it does seem to come to life (no pun intended). If i'm pleased , I must have got something right.

Frances, Anya and J.R. much appreciated likes.


Love all round. Ray

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suki spangles

Wed 11th Jul 2018 11:49

Decisions, decisions..

Which Ray poem should win Poem of the Week - Lonely Raconteur or this? I couldn't put a piece of paper between the two; I love them both.

A wonderful extended thought-meditation, this one. Perfect.

Oh, and glad to hear you performed Lonely Raconteur too, and that it received the response it deserves.

Nice one Ray!

Suki

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Laura Taylor

Wed 11th Jul 2018 10:18

Yep, will add my voice to Stu's. Absolutely wonderful Ray, the best thing I've seen you write to date.

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Colin Hill

Wed 11th Jul 2018 08:06

ditto Graham and Stu with the addition of subtle and clever - the title a nod to your musical past I wonder? Reminded me of this classic - the cigs and drinks are a nice touch lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PfUZcsKJqo

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Stu Buck

Wed 11th Jul 2018 06:29

for me your finest moment

utterly brilliant

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Graham Sherwood

Wed 11th Jul 2018 00:00

Ray, sometimes I read a piece here on WOL and I swear blind it has been lifted from a classic poetry book.

This lovely read is pure poetry, a stunningly simple, breathtaking piece.

Superb, chapeau!

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