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We’ve got a brand new gadget, a proper Budget Beater

That’s saving us a fortune – a fitted water meter.

We don’t waste any these days, as once, I guess, we did;

The bill’s now not eight hundred pounds but just two hundred quid.


My garden’s watered sparingly from outside water butts

With rainfall I’ve collected from rooves on sheds and huts.

When once Our Gert would take a bath and soak for hours and hours

She’d never dream of bathing now, preferring nice hot showers.


And when we’ve brushed our teeth and replaced the toothpaste cap

No sooner have we done this than we turn off the tap.

You might think I’m obsessive – a sad recycling geek

But cups and plates and saucepans – well, we wash them once a week.


So if you come to visit us our hospitality

Will run to all my whiskies but don’t ever ask for tea.

Our Gert would sooner offer you all the wines I’d bought her

But “No! You bloody well can’t have just a glass of water”.

And if you need to pay a call, don’t flush away your poo;

But pop it in your handbag and take it home with you.




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John Coopey

Wed 4th Apr 2018 18:10

Many thanks, Ken.

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ken eaton-dykes

Wed 4th Apr 2018 09:31

Hi John only just seen this one. Your a bottomless reservoir of brilliantly metred chuckles.


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Mxolisi Cassius Mabuya

Tue 3rd Apr 2018 20:06

Hahahahahaha! JC I'm preparing one in vegan leather. Gert keep them coming

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John Coopey

Mon 2nd Apr 2018 09:32

“Spurs are on their way to Wembley
The Kings are claiming the throne”
If Our Gert’s cooking, bring your biggest bag.

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Mxolisi Cassius Mabuya

Mon 2nd Apr 2018 09:09

Hahaha. I guess I can pop it in my pocket because I carry no hand bag. Brilliant piece of art

Graham Sherwood

Mon 2nd Apr 2018 08:55

Get in! COYS

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John Coopey

Mon 2nd Apr 2018 08:44

Thanks, Wood.

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Mon 2nd Apr 2018 01:45

enjoyed the story you gave.
thank you.🌷

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John Coopey

Sun 1st Apr 2018 11:50

Or to Dolce and Gabbana, Hazel.

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Hazel ettridge

Sun 1st Apr 2018 10:04

Just the giggle I needed this morning. You should try selling this to your water company.

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John Coopey

Sun 1st Apr 2018 09:27

Colin/Hugh, thanks for your suggestions.

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Sun 1st Apr 2018 08:58

A poetic flush from the brain,
Please don't put it down the drain.
Well done for putting pen to paper,
A brilliant capture of this caper.

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John Coopey

Sun 1st Apr 2018 08:58

Thanks, MC. I do a fair bit of gardening so I’m hoping for a lot of rain this summer to keep my water butts topped up.

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 1st Apr 2018 01:40

My landlord pays the water bills but leaves me to pay
everything else! If I had the responsibility I would look
at the control a water meter encourages and provides.
And feel flushed with satisfaction!
Happy Easter JC.

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