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TALE FROM THE NORTH COUNTRY

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(An oldie but a topical goldie)

 

As we crunched through snow together

In inclement Arctic weather,

I thought I’d bring to mind an Old Icelandic song;

There’s a saga of the Viking

That you need to heed when hiking

That “Pissing in His Boots -

Keeps No Man Warm for Long”.

 

In Nordic runes it’s written

That if your foot’s frost-bitten

Don’t fumble with your flaps to free your frozen prong;

Whilst the warmth of urine might

Afford a transient respite

“Pissing in His Boots –

Keeps No Man Warm for Long”.

 

Now already you’ll be gleaning

There’s a second, deeper, meaning

That short-term exigencies always turn out wrong;

As a simple rule of thumb

They will stab you up the bum

Cos “Pissing in His Boots -

Keeps No Man Warm for Long”.

 

If you fail to grasp the nettle

Of Hard Choices but you settle

For the easy way, you’ll find you’ll just prolong

The pain of future heartache

In which you’re doomed to partake,

Cos “Pissing in His Boots –

Keeps No Man Warm for Long”.

 

My friend thanked me profusely,

Retorting quite obtusely,

Adding that there’s more that he thought we ought to know;

That if your thirst needs slaking,

A big mistake you’re making’s

To try to quench your thirst -

By eating yellow snow.

◄ THE CASTING COUCH

THE JIG SAW ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Sat 3rd Mar 2018 18:10

Son Dun Too today, MC.

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 3rd Mar 2018 13:31

Ha-ha, JC...very droll. But maybe "Son" you aren't too far
off about players' names in this context.

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John Coopey

Fri 2nd Mar 2018 22:27

“Soon Don Long”, MC? Who does he pay for?

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 2nd Mar 2018 15:11

Timely - with a universal moral somewhere in there. Stick it out for the best result if possible? Meanwhile:
Today's footballing softies
Soon don long sleeve and mitten.
They'd probably insist on balaclavas
To keep hair from being "frost bitten"!! ?
P.S. VAR should be kept for goal/goal line dispute only.

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John Coopey

Thu 1st Mar 2018 19:03

VARy good, Graham.

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 1st Mar 2018 13:22

As usual, a veritable font of useful information.

I'm surprised you haven't written a whole manual of this type of "survival" prose!

On another matter, it was good to see those northern softies dispatched in the snowy cauldron of Wembley the other night. And not a HC in sight!!

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