(And Who Forced Them To Get On It?)

 

“Come join me on my casting couch; come sit by me, m’dear;

I’m really quite avuncular; there’s nothing you need fear”.

 

“Oh, please sir, I remain unsure; I fear that isn’t so.

My mother always cautioned me, ‘The casting couch? Say No!’”

 

"You have no need to think I’ll hurt or harm you. Lordy Lord!

It’s just a game of dice we’ll play upon my Scrabble board”.

 

“Well, if it’s just a parlour game I don’t suppose there’s harm.”

He guides the little innocent; she senses no alarm.

 

And later still he strikes again – another dew-eyed lamb

And sees his opportunity to chew the bearded clam.

 

“I wonder would you help me, sir; I’m buying a settee;

I’d like one that is strong enough to bear my friend and me.

He will be truly most surprised; in fact he will be thrilled;

As he and you are similar in height and weight and build.

The texture is so smooth and soft in leatherette veneer,

An Ottoman that’s just like one I’m buying from Ikea.”

 

So on and on his luck rolls on with queues of innocents

With no suspicions of his plans nor thought of consequence.

 

His fund of stories rolled on too with never leave nor let,

“Come sit awhile together and we’ll practise your duet."

 

"You see this stage direction which is in parenthesis?

Oh, really, you have never yet performed an on-stage kiss?"

 

"And in this scene the actress needs to wear a bathing suit."

 

"This technique’s designed to help improve you play the flute.”

 

Ambitious movie starlets all – and not a one suspects

He takes them on his casting couch for purposes of sex.