What Does the First Month of the New Year Hold in Store?

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So that was Christmas, and what have you done?  You've probably put on weight.  Go for a run.  And after you have done so, you will probably do the following...


Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 19)

                You start the year like a snowboarding leopard, with a strong instinct for adventure and risk-taking and the charm of a man with a quiff. Now is the time to take to the stage with some new material, perhaps that stuff you never thought anyone would understand...

 

Pisces (Feb 20 - Mar 20)

 

                Occasionally in this life Pisces, we see a precious hedgehog, this may be one of those times. Now is the time for gentle flossy words and soft palms, put your brassy, sassy brashness in a box till next month.

 

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)

 

                Wow! Your head is one big box of haywire fireworks and nothing can stop you expressing yourself with the force of a scouse gaudy bear. Sadly your technicoloured cabaret of a worldview currently reaches only a handful of people, try to reach more by shouting loudly on the bus, alternatively start a daily blog.

 

Taurus (Apr 21-May 21)

 

                You start the year with a slam-winning smile, You project confidence and optimism through your teeth and people are willing to walk over hot coals to throw stones at your shit. Harness this charm and unleash it on stage, seek out publishers or get off with someone way out of your league.

 

Gemini (May 22 - Jun 21)

 

                January is an iffy time for you Gemini, relationships may go a bit wibbley and you might find yourself writing haikus with far, far too many syllables. Try creating a row of objects in your living room in alphabetical order within 6 minutes for that sense of achhievement you’re missing.

 

Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)

 

                Let’s face it Cancer, relationship matters in 2009 were as lively as a lonely mouse in a tramps forgotten pocket.Get yourself noticed by performing overtly sexual rhyming poetry at an open mic in tip-toe shoes and translucent duds.

 

Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)

 

                You begin the year like a cat in a cupboard, confused, vague and a bit sad. Jshuzz youe life up by capturing a moment of every day in a poem or cartoon, and Inject some whim by drawing a face on your hand to create a rudimentary puppet who you then make the character of your next story.

 

 

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 23)

 

                January finds you at a lose end Virgo. Try posting things to yourself with increasingly sparse addresses, or, gather together your 10 best poems and make your own handmade photocopied zine complete with drawings and a strange title that only you understand and distribute it with the pride and hesitancy of a first-day-school child.

 

Libra (Sep 24 - Oct 23)

 

                Log fires, hot soup and tired smiles: as the year begins you find yourself craving the cosy and comfy. This nesting instinct is a chance to rest up for more adventurous experiences to come so feel free to wrap up in self-indulgent verse, bad rhymes and thick blankets with some fluffy-tummed floppy-eared companions.

 

Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 22)

 

                The solitude you seek in January brings opportunities to reframe the past. Return to a poet you hated at school, rediscover an old lover or reread some very, very old notebooks. Perform the poetry you’re most ashamed of to the sea or in a forest with the uninhibition of a chocolate-covered toddler.

 

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22)

 

                This is a great time to make new discoveries and expand, look on top of the cupboard in the kitchen, explore your attic or attend an event you’d ordinarily never consider. Or try wearing a really big hat, you’re never alone with a hat.

 

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20)

 

                You spent 2009 like a blanket with no corners. Getting organized and back on track is the focus now. Buy a new writing book (one of those really expensive ones that intimidate your writing style) and spend the first ten pages splurging cliched nonsense, until you get to that golden line...

 

◄ This Time It's Personal

Those celestial spheres are at it again. ►

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