Friends Prominent


By Fred Varden 


Stevie, Gary, Peter and me

Simon, Jude and John times three

Mike, Geoff, Dave and friends

Frank and Denis never did made amends


These are all me mates you see

At least that's what they pretended to be

The reality is that they gave me strife 

I'm convinced they all fancied me wife


Always planning, plotting, being prudent

Trying to cop off with university students

Never ones to be over cautious

A few beers and they got a bit raucous


Then there's Billy, Jimmy and our Don

Kevin, Duncan, Adrian and Ron

Fellow workers at Lancashire Tar

We took it in turns to use the car


Like Peter Kay we sort of shared

Not as a car pool but to take a fare

From any old punter who'd pay for a ride

In our own private 'taxi' for money on't side


With all good intentions we ferried around

To all sorts of places to make a few pound

The trouble was it wasn't quite kosher

As we had no tax or MOT on't motor


One day I took Mrs Bellamy out

She was going to visit her old great aunt 

We went' wrong way on't roundabout 

And all I heard was a blood curdling shout


She never made it to see the old lady

And me time in prison is drivin' me crazy!

All I can hope for is a miracle freeing

And wonder which one of me mates the wife is seeing?
















◄ Parenting for Dummies

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