the Oyster Dreamers

A good friend of mine, Winston Plowes, has suggested a good cure for my addiction to rhyme.  I have taken two lines from hannah collins's poem The Bound Bird (thanks Hannah!) and used each woed as the last line of my new poem.  It is fun to try and helps unleash the imagination (or release the bound bird?!) without restrictions of rhyme.  See what you think. M x

Put pearls of amethyst beneath her quivering wings

And diamond traces underneath her fragile feet. – The Bound Bird by Hannah Collins

 

The Oyster Dreamers

 

They came at night, the fearful, and put

Wishes and hopes sealed in shells with Pearls

Upon the golden strand, amongst waves of

Silver surf with depths of purest Amethyst

Sparkling and glistening deep beneath

The shining crown.  The sea came with her

Greedy fingers, sifting and Quivering

Through the sand, and with her wings

Prising and splintering the shells and

Taking out the hopes and dreams. Diamond

Sparkles dragged away with the tide, few traces

Left, but empty shells, wedged underneath

The rocks and pools beside the beach.  Her

Swelling joy and bubbling delight became a fragile

Mix of fears, joy and deadly loss left at our feet.

 

X

poetry. dreams

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Comments

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Hannah Collins

Fri 3rd Nov 2017 17:46

This is beautiful, it needs to be read out loud.
Great use of language and description which is what I like to read and write.

Hannah

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mike booth

Thu 2nd Nov 2017 15:49

mmm. Maybe also the poetry is in the pity.

I love the challenge of using rhyme
The kick and punch of ev’ry line,
But sometimes thoughts within my head
Flow smoother with a softer tread.
Like any bond it feels quite free
To step outside the puzzle tree,
And develop feelings, thoughts and moods,
Without metre, rhyme or constrictions
Of balance, structure, free descriptions.
And so the words can fly and flutter
Cutting through, like knife through…
But a poem pure in word and deed
Is a gift, a joy and great indeed.
M x

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 2nd Nov 2017 12:15

Rather than placing restrictions on the use of words in
poetry, rhyme obliges its users to investigate and utilise
the glorious ever-expanding English language to best
effect. It also requires discipline and a distinct devotion
to obtaining the right result for what the writer seeks to
impart on paper or in spoken form. It need not be
regimented or confining - far from it - but a memorable
means of conveying something that will stick in the
consciousness, often for a lifetime. I think of the
angry message in a famous World War One poem that
still resonates with its barely concealed contemptuous anger....
"Good morning, good morning!" - the general said,
When we met him last week on our way to the line.
Now the soldiers he smiled at are most of 'em dead
And we're cursing his staff for incompetent swine..."
Rhyme has no equal when used to such devastating lasting effect.
The skill is in its application.

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