IN OUR OWN IMAGE
On getting up one morning
God walked to the pearly gate
and enquired of Michael his doorman
how's it going mate?
I'm absolutely knackered, and wish you'd investigate.
Never known it be this busy before
them coming up here to Heaven
swept off me feet trying to greet,
everyone twenty four seven.
The flow is overwhelming, we need cupboards and extra shelving.
But I have a suggestion could quicken commuting
a couple of lap tops would speed up computing.
We cannot update, answered God loud but gentle
we must stay as we are, and that's fundemental.
I could stop a few wars to help your cause
and while I'm at it, went on
I'll extend human life, to over a ton
ban dangerous pastimes done for fun
while postponing the annual drought
lingering deaths will increase to six weeks
and sudden ones quickly phased out.
There'll be a deep cut in their pensions I fear
but the good news is, they won't come up here
I know it will work, you can take it from me
leaving plenty of breaks, for a cup of tea.
But the downside effects of my wisdom and power
will result as matters of fact
in that everyone here at reception will go,
on a zero hours contract
Mike, red faced with anger faced up to God
I've rumbled you, your a tight arsed sod
the so called all loving, Supreme Divinity
you've enjoyed the good life for all of infinity
with that other bent pair in the holy trinity.
Of my many ideas thousands at most
sent to you at head office by first class post.
Epistled replies, signed "Almighty host"
After long consideration we're unanimous at the close
that improvements applied for impractical.
Quote from spokesman, Holy Ghost.
If you wish to dispute the figures, said God,
in irritated tone
come up to my office immediately
and get Holy Ghost on the phone.
List your complaints to his Personal Aide
who will automatically say.
"As you know the boss is invisible.
and no one can see him today".