Dreaming of funerals 
Dreaming of death
Dreaming impossible 
Daydreams of theft.
Thoughts not unhappy
But hopeful and proud
Driving too slowly
Singing too loud.
Why is it sacrifice leads me to joy?
The heavy heart dragged 
By the arms of a boy.
Why is it sorrow somehow leads me to laughter ?
The dreadful, dark ending
The what that comes after.
Why does the prospect of loved ones abound
Being silenced at once 
And then stuffed underground,
Buried forever 
Or flamed to an ash
By the bullet
The sickness
Inevitable gash
Of the sword swinging slowly
Then fast all at once
Gives me hope and a smile
That inspires a hunch?
A shame on the grin that then turns to a cackle 
At grandpas memorial
Obligated dibacle.
Maybe the thought that we all end the same
That we wish we were famous 
Instead of just vain.
That we wish we had meaning to punctuate life
All the toil
The service
The failures 
And strife .
Instead we have shoulders to small for our chests
Women with deep voices
Strong men with breasts.
They never became what they thought they could be
And not one ever knew
That they'd die just like me.
So when grandma goes cold
When mom bites the dust
Remember what's them
Will one day be us.
And fucking laugh.