Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

OLD AGE KICKS (RLS)

entry picture

(A re-post from my Old Gits back catalogue, codged around the Undertones "Teenage Kicks".  I suffer from RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) as does the impenetrable Mrs C when I give her a good kicking in the night.  Ha Ha).

 

The old age dream is so hard to beat

I dream of Werthers for a treat

An end to swelling in my feet

And fitting teeth so I can chew my meat.

 

I want a bladder bag so that I might

Get to sleep right through the night.

 

They're on my head when I’ve lost my specs

In every queue I am always ‘Next’

The video gets me lost and perplexed

I try so hard but it won’t send a text

 

I get RLS so I sleep upright

I get Old Age Kicks right through the night

 

I’ve got angina and hypertension

I’ve got a bus pass and I’ve got old age pension

My memory now has started decaying

Now, what was that that I was saying?

 

I just get older, just get balder too

I’ve lost my teeth so now I can’t chew.

 

I wear no shirt with a tie and a vest

I wear my trousers belted up on my chest

All my clothes seem to be in beige

This season’s colour is all the rage.

 

I get RLS so I sleep upright

I get Old Age Kicks right through the night

 

I’m deaf as a post without my hearing aid

My skin has sagged and my hair now has greyed

I’ve lines round my eyes and round my mouth

And other bits are all hanging South.
 

I’ve frozen shoulder and my left leg’s lame

I use a scooter and a zimmer frame.

 

I get RLS so I sleep upright

I get Old Age Kicks right through the night

I get RLS so I sleep upright

I get Old Age Kicks right through the night

◄ THE EYE OF THE NEEDLE (I Don't Intend to Die Rich)

IT'S GOOD NEWS WEEK! ►

Comments

Profile image

John Coopey

Tue 5th May 2015 17:25

Wazzap yongbludz. You realise we are over 200 years old between us? I reckon, MC, we'll get telegrams off the queen. She'll be 130 when she sends mine. Harry - I bet you treasure yours from the king.
Laters.

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Tue 5th May 2015 15:41

Suck it to me baby!!
A powerful anthem to all our yesterdays - well, those we can remember.
Hey JC...
whatever else you may have lost, you still seem to have
a good pair of lungs to help you make it through the night!

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Tue 5th May 2015 14:46

Just to cheer you up John,

Just been reading the ages on a pensioners obituary list for a local car factory:

The first six:...88, 87, 93, 87, 76, 103.

(I don`t know how that young feller got in there)

But I bet you, none of them can sing like you!

(those medical bastards are trying to make us live for ever)

Profile image

John Coopey

Tue 5th May 2015 12:35

Hello Colin. Thanks for your thoughts. I have to admit that 1978 is a bit recent for me! My recollections of listening under the covers involved Radio Luxembourg, when you spent 30 seconds listening and the next 30 seconds waiting for it to fade back in, only to hear another advert for Horace Batchelor.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 5th May 2015 08:11

I clearly remember listening in to John Peel's late night show (under the bed sheets so as not to wake my parents in the next room) and hearing him play Teenage Kicks for the first time back in 1978. He always maintained it was his all-time favourite song.
Btw, out of curiosity, which meaning of 'impenetrable' are you referring to with regards to the bruised and battered Mrs C? x
Your rendition puts me in mind of Stiff Little Fingers' 1978 single 'Alternative Ulster' which had the following printed on the labels: 'Punk is dead but we're still dying'

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message