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The Perils of the Prostate Gland

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The perils of the prostate gland are known to men like me,

Men of a certain age approaching their senility;

Men who’d give a hundred pounds if in return they might

Sleep right through without they need the toilet twice a night;

And why should I be held to blame if on the mat I’ve slopped?

When I can’t be sure I’ve started and I can’t be sure I’ve stopped;

Although the doctor’s fickle finger showed fings down there were fine

His broddling in my back passage was not quite so benign;

But if you face your future years with urinary dread

It pays you to remember the alternative’s you’re dead.

◄ LE PERE FOUETTARD

PLUM FACE ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Fri 9th Jan 2015 09:48

Ken, I very much enjoyed your little poem. I have indeed spent many hours illustrating my knowledge of gynaecology on toilet walls.
I notice the time of your post. Did you do it on your way back from the loo?

Kenneth Eaton-Dykes

Fri 9th Jan 2015 02:04

Hi J.C.

Don't waste that time stood in the stall'
get some poems on the wall.

Remember it's an ill wind etc.

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John Coopey

Thu 8th Jan 2015 22:44

We can't have that, Harry. Not many of us good uns left.

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Harry O'Neill

Thu 8th Jan 2015 19:43

Thanks John,
Between you and Graham I don`t know if I should just go away and top myself!

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John Coopey

Wed 7th Jan 2015 16:10

Happy to tickle your fancy, Izzy.
MC - it's a bit like being 6 again when I used to wet the bed and was stopped from drinking from 4 o'clock onwards!

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Isobel

Wed 7th Jan 2015 15:30

LOL - you've bought a smile to my face :))

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 7th Jan 2015 14:08

Hi JC - I've been down this road: from a self-
inflicted PSA test, followed by a urologist's
fickle finger of fate and a biopsy, through to
two MRI scans of the pelvic area - so far so good! I'd prefer no more "broddling"!!
I'd rather have had the inconveniences than the
alternative possibility. The aspect of nightly
urination is not unknown to older men and can
sometimes be attributed to a benign growth in
the gland plus, of course, taking too much
fluid near sleep time. Coffee is an irritant
and doesn't help, so they say.
Pomegranate (check its juice, available from M&S...delicious!) helps to keep the gland in
good nick from what I've discovered online.
Also - Pomi-T capsules (not a medicine but a
herbal asset) - have been given a placebo
test and found to be effective in maintaining
health down under! Another discovery by
yours truly that I had to mention to the
urologist who seemed unaware of their
existence.
Prevention is ALWAYS preferable to "cure".

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John Coopey

Wed 7th Jan 2015 14:02

Many thanks for your kind thoughts, Cynthia. This piece follows on from my earlier pieces "There's Allus a Dribble That's Left" and "Let Me Pee".
It seems this last bastion of male exclusivity has yielded to sex equality as doctors now consider the Skene's Gland to be the female prostate.
"Broddle" (which defies predictive text) is sufficiently onomatapaeic as to not require explanation.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 7th Jan 2015 13:05

Old age with a sense of humour is the only way to go.

How about 'His broddling in my backside' just to avoid 'pass - AGE? and to pick up 'benign'. A mere teensy suggestion. Love 'broddling' where-ever the word came from.

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