Here's to all Performing Ranters

The whoopers', and the waving panters

Stuff academics licking asses

Scowling through rose-tinted glasses

 

Before I get my recompense

What is a 'Poet in Residence'?

A girl who writes

Lives in a tent

Is she a  'Poet With Intent'?

 

Let's have a workshop.

Make a bid

Then charge the punters all five quid

Liquid lunch and slap on back

Paid by the funding you now lack

 

Clever prose and written arts

It's for us all, not just 'Old Farts'

And now I've got you in a strop

You can always dissect 'Adelstrop'

 

So don't send writers straight to hell

When words are wrong or they can't spell

Not everyone in our proud nation

Had access to great education

 

From Kipling, Wordsworth, Browning, Keats

To Speaker's Corner, Salford's Streets

Poets always leave their mark

Like Digance, Ayres and Cooper-Clarke

 

Some use words that should be banned

Yet write in ways we understand

So it may enhance your verbal spectrum

To take your head out from your rectum

 

First footsteps lead to many miles

There's room enough for diverse styles

Write without fear and please be proud

Just be yourself on 'Write out Loud'

 

Some of this is tongue in cheek

Long lost my paddle up shit creek

Steel helmet on and match on fire

Light blue-touch paper.... and retire!

 

So here's to all Performing Ranters

The whoopers', and the waving panters

Beware of those 'rose tinted' glasses

The written word is for the masses

 

(c) Daniel Dwyran