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A Typical Day on the Psychiatric Ward

Wake up at eight after a fitful sleep

Stagger into the day room where a depressed woman weeps

Dressed in a nightie she shouts and bawls

While the staff are outside waiting for role call


Eating soggy cornflakes watching Jeremy Kyle

In come the cleaners in uniforms they file

Cleaning the bedrooms it's pretty hard slog

One pulls a vacuum like dragging a dog


After breakfast the nurses dish out the meds

Measuring cups of cocktails that play with our heads

Olanzapine for the schizophrenics, Lithium for the depressed

One refuses treatment, and is forcibly injected on the bed


At eleven a.m you're too tranquil to think

Then you're taken to a side room to liaise with the shrink

Accompanied with their henchmen they stare mild and meek

But when you open up to them you're kept in for another week


As you're escorted outside for your mid morning smoke

Cadgers and spongers badger you for a fag to toke

Never leaving you alone, your they're kind of fella

Then they lurk back in the bushes swigging their Stella


At noon a queue forms for your nutritious dinner

Pre heated stodge, impossible to become thinner

Then your administered a generous helping of syrup pudding

To the toilets you turn to, your guts are running


After dinner it's time for your lunchtime meds

Then it's an afternoon in front of the telly or retire to bed

In self imposed exile you snooze in the dorm

Silent protest at your sectioning is the everyday norm


You stagger out of your pit at half past three

A manic psychotic tries to escape and flee

The alarm activates and the security barge in

A liquid cosh is adminstered, into his buttocks it's injected in


Then at ten p.m the meds trolley's dragged out

Dispensing out sleepers to knock the insomniacs out

At midnight on the dot the telly's switched off

Then your kept awake all night by loud snoring and incessant phlegmy coughs

Mentally IllPsychiatric HospitalsPsychiatrists

◄ Schizophrenic on a Mission

Christmas Calamities ►


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