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grumpy summer

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July was unbearably hot.  Thankfully it is cooler now, but at time though...


What’s up with UK weather?
It’s changed beyond all reason?
Where’s the wind and where’s the rain,
Our usual summer season?
Can’t you see I’m British and
I’m not designed for heat.
I need two handy buckets
On my legs instead of feet
There has to be some let-up
And I’m close to desperation
Look out soon for headline news
and death by perspiration.
My workplace is an oven
Where I roast on gas mark 3
I’ve asked the boss for aircon
But problem is – that’s me.
Incessant heat for days on end
Can make you somewhat grumpy
Especially if you’re verging on
The oversized and lumpy
I’ll have to dig my legs out
Endure bifurcated grief
They’ve not seen light since 96
the day they banned our beef.
A dress can cause derision.
a vision to be mocked .
as overheated thighs I find
Cause friction in a frock
Then you find you’re walking
With a gap between your knees
As if your horse had bolted
Just to catch a wisp of breeze
Comic walk aside though
And the dreaded summer dress
The biggest pain of all is the
Whole self-tanning mess
Goddamn you Sally Hansen
I’ve sprayed so much around
I’ve airbrushed out the bathroom
And the dog is strangely brown.
Let’s get back to normal
To our jumpers socks and shoes
Let’s cuddle up with cocoa
Put our slippers on and snooze
We can put an end to summer
it won’t be hard to do
summon up the old damp squib
and plan a BBQ

music Kevin Macleod

image:© Pentesilea69 | <a href="">Dreamstime Stock Photos</a> & <a href="">Stock Free Images</a>



◄ Stress-EA


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Harry O'Neill

Sun 18th Aug 2013 12:54

Well written - and read - and music-ed.

Delighted with:

`and death by perspiration`

`Endure bifurcated grief`

Also enjoyed the comic walk and thunderstorm ending.

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Karen Robinson

Thu 15th Aug 2013 23:11

Thanks very much.

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John Coopey

Tue 13th Aug 2013 00:18

Excellent, Karen. And a very English feel to it too.
I always feel sorry for the Scots though. On holiday they strip off to reveal that Daz blue-whiteness, go crimson, peel and return to white again.

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 12th Aug 2013 17:07

This, I like! Even Pam Ayres would have been
pushed to maintain the consistent very British
resignation at weather that seems determined
to keep us all guessing...let alone hot and
More please, Ms.R.

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