Natural Selection

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Natural Selection

 

Outbound

 

I look at them

they look at me

through glassy eyes

that never see

we’ve shared this carriage

many years

never sharing

hopes or fears

I swiftly pass

the guarded gate

and check my watch

in case I’m late

despite producing

dog-eared ticket

the blank faced guardsman

doesn’t click it

I side step gran’s

with shopping bags

and hands that plead

from piles of rags

fat businessmen

in rain drenched suits

and pretty girls

in thigh length boots

rehearsing each

spontaneous line

the interview

begins at nine

my suit is black

and very smart

shop windows whisper

“just the part”

 

Return

 

I look at them

they look at me

through x-ray eyes

I know they see

my bitter

onion of cares

they relish

peeling back the layers

a question asked

a swift reply

a sadness seeing

grown men cry

a pungent odour

seeps and lingers

on my

disappointed fingers

the journey home

seems twice as long

I bump and grind

the milling throng

the guardsman smiles

a knowing smile

hands withdraw

into the rag pile

fat businessmen

with pretty girls

shiny foreheads

golden curls

my suit is damp

with dismal rain

it’s job rejection

time again

job selectioninterviewdashed enthusiasmrejectiontrain traveldepression

◄ Sticks

Taking Root ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (6895)

Tue 23rd Jul 2013 08:40

made us feel'chuffed'reading this Ian.
Keep'em coming down the line.xx

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Francine

Sat 20th Jul 2013 18:50

This is very insightful. Anyone who has travelled regularly on a train can relate, and feel this. Your poem is cleverly set up to look and feel like a train - creativity at its best!

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 20th Jul 2013 14:11

I'm with Dave. for sure. I found the 'going to the interview' a bit more structured than 'the return', which would actually be quite natural. Maybe it's the 'onion' metaphor that takes a bit more imagination on my part. I found the rhythm faltered just a bit; and I had become quite pampered by its dependability. I enjoyed the poem very much, especially the contrast of the protagonist's perception of the same scene and persons. And the sly reality of 'rehearsing each spontaneous line'.

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Dave Bradley

Sat 20th Jul 2013 06:45

This is really good Ian. Carries the reader right into the scene and your emotions. The rhythm is train-like

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