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I’m tougher than a brave marine,

in hard-worn battle gear,

all decked out in camouflage.

There’s nothing that I fear.

You may have taken all my mates,

but they were old and weak,

you’ve never met a foe like me -

I’m tough as fucking teak.


I laugh at all your vain attempts

to seek out and destroy,

for when I’m in my element

I’m proud that I annoy.

I smear myself on surfaces,

I hide in subtle bends

I know my mere existence

disgusts you and offends.


You’ve looked for me both far and wide,

in every hole and pipe.

Despite your best intentions

I still evade your subtle wipe -

on worktop, chair, toilet seat,

sink and windowsill,

I am the awesome nought point one

that you will never kill.

bugscleaningdomestosgermskilling 99.9%resistance

◄ Needle Tracks

Animals ►


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Sun 9th Jun 2013 07:55

Your life is guaranteed in my house mate, as is the dust mite, so you have no worries ;

Enjoyed your rhyming ditty.

<Deleted User> (6315)

Sun 9th Jun 2013 00:04

ha ha Ian!! Priceless :)

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Laura Taylor

Thu 6th Jun 2013 11:37

Hehe - faultless rhythm in this chuck. Great title, and teak! I haven't heard anyone reference teak since I was a kid!

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John Coopey

Wed 5th Jun 2013 22:51

Don't you believe it, Ian. That Flash lady would have had it!

<Deleted User> (8659)

Wed 5th Jun 2013 19:53

Save The Household Germ!

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Simon Marks

Wed 5th Jun 2013 01:03

One for Toilet Duck, perhaps. Maybe it can find that germ.

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Dave Bradley

Tue 4th Jun 2013 20:24

Ingenious. Will think of this when next using the humble bleach bottle.

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