Give it to me, Big Boy,

Don’t make me pout and paddy;

Shove it in my tea-pot;

Give it to me, Daddy;

I want your lovin’ spoonful;

Take it from my caddy.

You can put your finger

Inside my steaming pot

But, Baby, you’ll get burned inside

Mama’s steaming slot;

Take my word it’s ready,

Take my word it’s hot.

You see my lips are gaping now,

The pleasure’s too extreme;

Let Mama hold the handle

It’s time to let off steam;

Let me squeeze your lemon, Babe;

I can’t wait for your cream.

Don’t rush yourself now, Big Boy,

No need to take things quick,

For Mama’s done this many times,

Let Mama teach the trick;

Just pop the end in slowly

And make your hob-nob slick.

Your technique needs “correction”

So learn and then obey;

Let Mama give you her relief

But slow – not straight-away,

But sip it from her loving cup

Like Fifty Shades of Grey.