minnow
the water is cold
as I dip my hand
silver-eyed -
a minnow
approaches
my fingers open
my hand
is a cup
the minnow
visits
the minnow
means
everything
to me
magic and fleeting
a mercury being
the whole world
echoing
within
his scales
Comments
Love the ephemeral feeling of a magic moment captured and imortalised in words.
Lovely piece. I've missed you.
I have such a small suggestion: because I think 'mercury' is used in the same idea as 'fleeting' and maybe even 'magic', would you consider using one line or the other? I tried it out several times, and the poetic impact of just one line is quite dramatic.
Enjoyed, Ann. It reminded me of a passage I read recently in Bill Bryson's "A Walk in the Woods" where he comes across a moose (who comes across Bryson) and they stare tansfixed looking at each other for several moments.
Ooo I really like this. An instant slow re-read. There are such intense moments to be had in life. Lovely picture too - just right for the poem.
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Francine
Sun 10th Mar 2013 17:41
Beautiful - love the simplicity of this.