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Legally Tender

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The key of currency
is the changing of hands,
a baton passed on
in constant motion
that binds together
all its participants.

A fresh, crisp bill
is a virgin still,
between your fingers
whose anticipation
and epic journey
are yet to unfold.




 

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2013batonbondscurrencyexchangejourneykesnermoneyrelaytendervirgin

◄ Australia Day 2013

Are you that easy to forget? ►

Comments

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Chris Co

Thu 7th Feb 2013 11:11

The key of currency
Is the changing of hands,

That's very good.

I also like the choice of 'participants' and the use of 'unfold'. The latter of course fits very nicely given its double meaning. The former is just a nice off kilter selection, unexpected and really interesting for that fact.

Really good title too by the way, especially so given the connection to virgin and anticipation. These words come together and successfully form an undercurrent of first time love. Titles are very important in my view. Nice to see some real thought going into the selection.

Subjectively I'd probably remove the connective word 'its' from the final line of the first stanza; linguistically I feel that is a little cleaner.

I would also possibly take way the word 'still' from the second line of the second stanza. Just because it feels its inclusion is to gain the rhyme from bill. I don't think the poem needs it. I think the poem is saying something more than this. Again though - just a subjective take.

Irrespective of the above...

It's a good poem - well written - enjoyable.

My Best

Chris

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Yvonne Brunton

Sat 2nd Feb 2013 23:36

clever piece, so much said in so few words. well constructed. I enjoyed it.

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Harry O'Neill

Sat 2nd Feb 2013 22:05


Even more binding when you think that money is
usually exchanged for some sort of service.

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Wez Jefferies

Sat 2nd Feb 2013 21:14

Clever piece, and well written. :)

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Isobel

Thu 31st Jan 2013 21:14

Lovely piece Frederick - and what stories they could probably tell. Great food for thought!

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Rose Casserley

Thu 31st Jan 2013 20:41

Unusual subject.Enjoyed.x

tony sheridan

Thu 31st Jan 2013 19:54

I like this. I wonder how many miles they go? How many places they visit? Take care, Tony.

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