thin ice

entry picture

 

thin ice

 

Out there you never felt the whistling cold,

the scalpel probe of blue steel, seeking out

your crimson core. Scribing arcs across the

 

ice, arabesque and pirouette, sharp turns

where crystals flew like frozen sparks. Your

skates left traces, silvered tracks; we knew

 

the cracks, like sonar bleeps, would never

catch you. Oblivious, you’d spin; a snowflake

dancing, a winter moth, a transient comet

 

through our years. The day you disappeared

we found the jagged patch of blackness, and

a hole

in the still air.

 

◄ Confirmation?

PARTY! (a shameless re-post!) ►

Comments

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David Blake

Wed 6th Feb 2013 19:01

I like this a lot. Very intense-feeling, almost as if the words themselves are skating on ice and are careful not to slip.

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Francine

Fri 7th Dec 2012 23:28

Je n'aime pas la fin... mais je comprends.

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Harry O'Neill

Fri 7th Dec 2012 21:39

This reads (last stanza?) as the death - or perhaps (first stanza?) the suicide of an ice-skating friend. Or perhaps someone with a skater`s oblivion to danger?

I also, wonder how it would be performed.I liked the `frozen sparks`

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John Coopey

Fri 7th Dec 2012 16:18

Liked it, Anthony.
Especially "arabesque and pirouette" - why on earth am I reminded of "for Pierrot and Columbine" in "The Carnival is Over"?

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Ray Miller

Fri 7th Dec 2012 14:45

I like the language, nice rhythm. Why on earth would you end the line on "the"?

Scribing arcs across the


ice, arabesque and pirouette, sharp turns

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Isobel

Thu 6th Dec 2012 20:29

I'm left wondering if you have chosen this structure deliberately for a laugh at my expense. It definitely doesn't read the way I'd perform it...

I love the poetry - it's beautiful and paints such a picture - at the same time, leaving so many questions.

This style seems very different for you - are you experimenting?

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