(A tribute to the country blues guitar of Rev Gary Davis's 'Candyman' and Designated Drivers everywhere!)

 

Shandy Man

Stands at the bar

Shandy Man

Declines a jar

Shandy Man

He drives the car

There’s no-one we would rather have than

Good Old Shandy man.

 

Shandy Man

When the drinking starts

Has a plan

He’s a boring fart

He sits in the van

Never pulls the tarts

He can’t do what we all can

He’s tosser, Shandy Man.

 

Shandy Man

He takes the wheel

We put him through

A real ordeal

Three giggling drunks

Who stink like skunks

Slopping Baltis with a naan

Behind the Shandy Man.

 

He’s driven us to football and to rugby matches too

He’s taken us to Twickenham and carted us to Crewe

He’s chauffeured to bah mitzvahs and a soppy wedding do

He’s picked us up at nightclubs and a boozy barbecue

We’ve filled his car with traffic cones and once a cockatoo

He’s put up with our fighting and with cleaning up our spew

But at midnight we’re his biggest fan

He’s a hero – Shandy Man.

 

Shandy Man

Stands at the bar

Shandy Man

Declines a jar

Shandy Man

He drives the car

There’s no-one we would rather have than

Good Old Shandy man.