Love turns the other cheek
absorbs the sting
lingers on the memories
of better times
treads water
holds back tides
hides fear
to steer its course
through arid land
sows understanding
to a hostile soil
waits faithfully
waits patiently
for seed to grow
from deep abyss
to planted kiss
then
like a dolphin
basking in the early morning glow
love turns the other cheek
I think Laura has said it all for me. The depth of love you feel for your children is like no other, and no matter what happens it is impossible to turn off.
I think we all will read something of our own lives into a piece like this, which is what makes it so truthful and touching.
Cate xx
I agree with Anne and Steve that this has prayer and faith in it, but has `humanistic` - rather than `religious` - feel to it.
It would sound more abnegationally religious if the `hopeful` lines seventeen,eighteen and nineteen were taken out and it ended as it began.
Streets ahead of the usual bitter `love` stuff we get on here though. It deserves the praise.
Quote
sows understanding
to a hostile soil
Unquote
I like that a lot- well thought.
Best
Chris
Nice one Isobel, enjoyed this and particularly liked the reference to dolphins near the end.
Best wishes,
mike
x
You're right, I meant two waits, no idea why I said two hides. I liked how holds turned to hides (with the nifty rhyme of tides) and I was wondering if you could repeat the trick with waits....but then I couldn't think of a way of doing it and, besides, if you meant to use two waits then it would be daft to change it. I guess I was really just showing that I'd read it good and proper and listened to it in my head.
Anyway, I loved it! Good to see you get back on that horse, so to speak : )
Jx
Hello you lovely mutt - I can only see one 'hides' - unless I'm blind with looking at it... perhaps you mean the internal rhyme of 'tides/hides'...
I repeated 'wait' deliberately to get across the time span - the patience - the hanging on threads feel... if that makes sense.
We all have our different forte. I could never have written anything as subtle as your 'Under the Wire' poem if I tried. xx
Beautiful, although I think you've gone freeform just to prove a point...but, what a point!
I'd change the odd word...but, hey, that's just me. Not sure it needs the two 'hides'. Earlier you use the 'holds' 'hides' riff . I just wonder if you could have gone for an alternative for the second 'waits?...but now I sit and think...I can't come up with a better alternative (serves me right for being a smart ass). I'd, perhaps, just ditch the second 'waits'.
Lovely stuff.
You are so talented, it hurts.
Jx
Thank you everyone - I'm delighted you like it, as it's the first thing I've written in a while.
It's interesting that you think it sounds like a prayer Ann - I'm glad it carries that level of depth.
Isobel x
wonderful.I agree with Julian about 'sows understanding'. Well done, very moving. xx
Now that's writing: deep and shallow, open and elliptical, hopeful yet fearful. fave lines: sows understanding/ to a hostile soil. There's a film in that. Wow.
It sounds like a prayer somehow.
Great piece Isobel - one of the best I've read by you, if not the best.
The title says it all, and I like how you've got the repetition of the first and last line, with all the implications of that 'turning' of the cheek. Loads of alliteration and assonance in there, and a sense of the profundity of love, especially for our children, which is after all the most unconditional of all love.
Fantastic piece.
Hi Isobel, nice to see you blogging again. I really enjoyed this, worth waiting for. x
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Graham Sherwood
Sun 24th Jun 2012 11:54
I detected a Pagan edge to this Isobel, quite elemental. Plenty of earth and water, not much air and fire though. Could there be a reason for this? Either way it held my hand, made me feel warm. Graham