Self scan

Thank god for it
Means I can buy two tubs of ky jelly
A pair of marigold gloves,
one eight pack of performer condoms,
and an electronic arouser tip,
without anyone asking any questions.

thank you  technology
for all things seedy

You see
The robotic till has no sense of embarrassment built in
and there are no age limits
on debauchery.
To top it all off I decided upon
A half price bottle of rose cava
as I felt that may follow this evenings proceedings quite nicely
I have even heard of bizarre and erotic
uses for it in the forms of female fountains.

Sounds interesting

Unfortunately it caused a pile up on the
lubricant and condom cartons, jamming part of the conveyor mechanism
This in turn prompted an investigation by 2 young checkout supervisors
who speedily began an attempt to remove the jammed durex carton from
the steel roller conveyor wheels.
This all took place as the jelly was still on the bar code reader
which then totted up false multiples
and the security tag, still on the cava
sounded a toxic alarm, a digital voice, assistance needed
Christ, even more assistance.
The manager arrived as a second alarm sounded
The two girls then rescanned the entire lot of my seedy buy
as the curious que gawped
I imagined some wanting to join in the evening fun,
the wife swapping elite perhaps.
anyway
me glowing bright red
Struggled with chip and pin
Trembling hands inserted it in
to the reader
as it shouted questions of cash-back
Cash-back?
Oh heck

What if they work out what the marigold gloves are for?