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Funeral

entry picture

 

Filled with heavy silence

The clouds went on, shaking their sieve

Adding to a sour day all around.


All purpose was missing,

On a weekday torn from routine.


The depressed bodies

Mooned like tourists

Amongst the trestle tables,

Eating to keep from talking,

Black jackets wet with an odor of mold.


I sat watching out the window

Where the clouds continued

To weep on the hill.


The world seemed full of peril,

Squalls were wrenching

Leaves from the trees,

Veering them upwards

Into a cobalt haze.


They looked like newly torn souls,

Light footed ghosts,

Eager to flee the drowning earth.

 

 

◄ Sunday Evening

Polaroid ►

Comments

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 28th Apr 2012 18:16

I like "a weekday torn from routine" personally. Good poem - I do like what you write - and the drawings too.

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Ray Miller

Fri 27th Apr 2012 22:08

Nice poem, Tom, last 3 lines are very good.
I don't think these 2 lines add much.

All purpose was missing,

On a weekday torn from routine.

"depressed bodies" is a bit unimaginaive - it's a funeral, after all!


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Harry O'Neill

Fri 27th Apr 2012 21:52


The problem with an (excellent) mood piece like this is what to do with it once you`ve established the mood...your last three lines answer that question succinctly and appropriately.

Good poem!

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 26th Apr 2012 12:01

A "mood" piece that will resonate with anyone
who has attended a funeral - especially on
a day made worse by bad weather! Agree with
the comments praising the final stanza. It
finishes the piece beautifully.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Apr 2012 11:34

Rain and death together are always great fodder for poetry. There is much that is very good in this; the mood is well-captured, and the final stanza is superb. IMO, there is editting to be done, a paring of words to a minimalist poem that would engage the heart by imaginative suggestion. Surely 'continued to weep' could be shortened, and 'the clouds went on'. AWR.

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Greg Freeman

Thu 26th Apr 2012 07:59

The mood at a funeral does depend on the weather a bit ... those final three lines are wonderful.

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