How do you write poetry?

I don't know, haven't got a Scooby Doo.

Although a teacher once told me the words you use

Should rhyme and stick together like glue.

But I haven't got the time or

The intonation to think like that.

My mates would think I'm a right ......Ball and Bat.

 

One lady suggested that we should work together

Using the Free Style Rhythm method.

Well, it seemed a good idea but after a while

I had to knock it on the head

When she started talking in Limericks

I lost my thread!

With all those pauses, commas, question marks

And fancy gimmicks.

I couldn't raise a gallop, not even a canter

And the banter just came to a full stop!

 

Try pace and humour someone else said, like......

The boy stood on the burning deck

Eating red hot scollops.

One fell down his trouser leg and burnt his ankle......

Completely missed his bollocks!

 

But what's a Stanza? What's all that about?

Sounds like a Mexican gun fight to me

Or is that a Standoff?

Anyway, it rhymes with Bonanza.

You remember with Big Hoss and Little Joe on the Ponderosa.

Well....maybe not, if you're from a different age.

 

Now, Simon Armitage, there's a name to conjour with.

Someone who knows his Stanzas from his Sonnets

And the difference between a Syllable and a Gas Bill !

I knew him before he wrote that 'Kid' thing,you know.

 

But he didn't know his arse from his elbow

When I bowled him with a googly

In a charity cricket match.

He tried to punctuate me for that!

But I caught his exclamation mark

And he was out for a duck.

Quack! Quack!

 

It can get confusing

When you try to get to clever.

You can lose your endeavour

Trying to fit things in here and there,

Weighing up words with a pensive stare.

 

Just write what you feel,

Let it bleed, make it real.

Read out loud to your mates,

Listen to what they say.

Then at the end of the day

You can share

A really good........Mass Debate!