As I walked in the inn there’s a silence within

All eyes turned upon this stranger

I asked “Bed and Board?” but the landlady roared,

“Youwavinalarf naar, aincha?”

“Bedan’ board, you ponce?” went on her response

If I could then I would have ignored her,

“Do me a fiva!” and finally gave a

Decision,  “Yourwoightaartofoder”.

Then her daughter appeared; I ogled and leered

And I stood there admiring the view

As a roar from the South erupts from her mouth

And the landlady shouted out, “Phiu!”.

“So piss orf, you spenner; this is my mennerr!”

His language went right off the scale;

With a flea in my ear I left and next year

I think I shall try Beckindale.