Here's a poem narrated by the Head of the Hufflepuff House at Hogwarts. It was inspired by a radio sketch by Mitchell and Webb. I'm not sure how much I like it; the rhythm is a little awkward in places, but I'd be interested to know what you think.

"Good evening dearest Hufflepuffs,

It’s now in the proceedings

Where I share some words

To move forward

From how you must be feeling.

 

I know it’s not an ego boost

To be sorted into ‘the rest’:

You aren’t brave,

Cunning or wise,

You evidently didn’t impress.

 

The sorting hat does have his reasons,

You might not see the glamour,

But we are all kind and

Have lovely hair,

Our emblem is a… badger.

 

You may be full of questions,

About this ‘badger-faced’ trap

Such as why a school

Entrusts its

Admissions process to a hat.

 

But look – you’re not in Slytherin!

You’ve reason to be gleeful!

However – an odd decision

By the school,

To form a house whose students are ...evil.

 

Anyway remember – there are

Other Hufflepuffs you can admire –

Cedric Diggory

Died last year:

There’s something to which you can aspire!"