Coastlines and laughter


his sketches of the blue coastlines
was like a disaster film
done on a none indie budget
in miniature.

 

his sketches of the coastlines
contained a mood
like an acoustic
version of autumn
stripped back
so the leaves were only
half dead and the branches
half mangled.

 

his sketches, so pure and
blind it was obvious
he had nothing
but this attempt at art
to keep him sane.

 

every jot and scribble, a glimpse
of desperation
the slow peel sound
of standard madness

 

and with the gentle silver
of the shadow sea
came the blue
of giving up.

 

(For Ant)

coastlines

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Comments

<Deleted User> (5552)

Sun 29th Dec 2013 07:17

a nice piece of work - the last stanza pretty much sums up the motif

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Andy N

Sat 21st Jan 2012 17:46

excellent stuff.. Coastlines and laughter is such a great title

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Gray Nicholls

Fri 30th Dec 2011 20:25

thanks for the comments, folks.. means a lot this help and i will take on board your kind comments.

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Jeff Dawson

Fri 30th Dec 2011 19:37

Nice work need to change was for were as Isobel says if plural sketches, as starts uncomfortably, otherwise enjoyed reading GN.

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Marianne Louise Daniels

Fri 30th Dec 2011 12:52

This is beautiful and incredibly moving. I love 'an acoustic version of autumn' - brilliant description.

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Isobel

Fri 30th Dec 2011 12:08

This is lovely - especially that last verse - very subtle, very sad.

I'd change sketch to singular in the first verse or was to were in the second line. For me the mismatch creates an ugly bump right at the start of a lovely poem. That's just my opinion though.

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