Note: No profile exists for this entry - most likely it was deleted.
A five fingered kiss
over the table top blurs.
Earlier I heard
a woman cry
Cats press,
mew half-light calls.
She broke a promise
to be strong
Nev the Rev
pushes the pedal down low.
I've seen her walking
dressed for bed
A morse code tap,
short sighted view.
I hear she sobs
to the noon day sun
Light up the first
of a brand new day,
breathe in her hurt
my morning.
Enjoyed this despite, or because of, its disconnectedness
I've seen her walking
dressed for bed
That's such a simple phrase yet here it's very powerful.
excellent stuff, Stella.. really enjoyed this in particular the end x
The two voices seem to me to be a woman looking at herself from the outside (as others see her) and then expressing how she feels (from the inside.) Not sure about Nev the Rev - made me think of Midsummer Murders for some reason! But I like the poem.
<Deleted User> (6895)
Fri 9th Sep 2011 20:03
lots of images to play with
in this excellent poem.
thanks for sharing
Stef&Patricia.xx
I thought of a modern day Joan of Arc, punishing her lungs with cigarettes, a martyr to some lost cause.
It isn't an easy poem to follow - there seem to be two voices - or at least disconnected thought. I enjoyed it though Stella - it is an interesting read and those last 4 lines carry a powerful punch.
Philipos
Fri 9th Sep 2011 14:45
Wow, leaves the reader wanting to know more - suggests a triangle of sorts. You have a typo in line 14 (view). I liked the mystery suggested in this.
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
This site uses only functional cookies that are essential to the operation of the site. We do not use cookies related to advertising or tracking. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
Elaine Booth
Sun 18th Sep 2011 18:51
Stella, wonderfully powerful poem. The opening lines really drew me in. I very much liked the two voices as it set up a tension and a story. And the mystery of the story - there is plenty there for the reader I feel. X