Welcome to the city Pt 2

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Welcome to the city
city of angels
of demons
of men and women
con artists,
scheming fraudsters and intelligent drug dealers
they all share a secret
they were once innocent
as was the city
before its beauty was discoloured
her purity stolen by thieves of the night

I want to see the city in all its grace
in her naked form
showing all
stripped of its costume
theres beauty in her madness
like a lady killer in a white virgin dress and perfect breasts

you would give up your soul for her
to make love to her
and the city
there's lust hidden under her dress
tucked away inside her gorgeous gates
you want to plant your sultry seed in the palace and watch your love child grow
but the city is a whore
and her child a bastard
the city has pointless acts
like constantly running at a brick wall with your forehead in the hope you will smash through
the straight jacket inflicts emotional self harm
her streets and its dwellers
the homeless man was once considered a child genious
his broken home broke the fragments of his soul
he found his calling beside the cigarretes in his local offl licence

Can you distinguish between the smells of a quiet night and a night of restless ruin?
wander her streets alone with your eyes closed
see her trueness underneath the night sky
the day quietly tucks away the truth under the curtains of her stage
at night the stage comes alive
a theatre for the insane
do you know the script?

scene 1
a prostitute falls in love with the night

scene 2
the night is unfaithful

scene 3
rescue the damsel in distress

refreshments are available behind the door with a secret knock
smell of sex in its toilets
vomit on its dance floor
a playground for the nymphos
outside the smell of stale urine
the clubber leaves her mini skirt in the alleyay and leaves for school

Behind the city's cleansed walls lies the plot of a holy war
their own streets will become the battle field
defensless in battle
her own soldiers waging war
mutiny amongst the ranks

The memory of a lost child looms like the black death
people leave
people return
buildings stand like giants
frowning at the machines who destroy the earths shield
the doting mother sees her children to the school gates
leaving for her part time job, her body pays the bills
her sex puts food on the table
who are her heroes? who are her villains?
you have seen the beauty of its art
the architecture that touches you as you walk past
you have seen the used condom lying next to the take away carton

you have seen the blood stains from last nights arrest
you have seen the true britishness of the taxi driver helping the old lady to her front door
you have seen her attacked by her own people

restless city run from your captors and reclaim your territory
bathe in your beauty

the streets are yours to own
do not allow the straight jacket and padded walls to cause you harm
lie beside freedom, faithful freedom, lie with her in your untouched corners



◄ Memories

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Jeff Dawson

Sat 23rd Aug 2008 12:41

Hi Richard

I think there's some great lines here but maybe a bit too much. Are you writing part 3? if so maybe all the last stanza should be in that. I like the idea of a 3 part thing if thats what you're planning but with the last part a kind of reflection if you know what I mean.

As I said though I love some of the lines so maybe look at the format? any help? Jeff

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Rodney Wood

Fri 22nd Aug 2008 19:46

I liked all of this apart from the first verse which just seemed to be an intro to the rest of the real and dirty poem.

<Deleted User> (5646)

Thu 21st Aug 2008 14:47

The last 6 lines of the second stanza don't seem to belong there.
The whole of the third stanza, i just can't contemplate. It's out of focus, if that makes sense.
Then i picked it up again after that.

But after all that said, for goodness sake, don't alter it for me. I've said before, i'm not a literary expert. Please, if it feels right to you, leave it as it is. It's your work and you should believe in yourself and any work you produce.
You'll never please everyone with everything you write. It's about experimenting with what you have to hand and learned.
Love Janet. xxx

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Richard Brooks

Thu 21st Aug 2008 14:34

It is meant to be treated as an individual poem from the first one. I think I will have to come back and re-think this maybe. Where did you get lost in particular?

<Deleted User> (5646)

Thu 21st Aug 2008 14:21

Hi Richard,
Sorry, but you totally lost me with the changes you made to this poem.
There's still some great sections but somehow i feel the plot's gone

Love Janet.xx

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