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Dormant life
waits
to soothe
then burn.
The miles melt between us.
Shared words
lined with sunshine
are stored for a dark day.
I take them out
ever so slowly
to taste,
banish the humdrum
of a life left over
after all have grasped
their slice and more.
So the miles melt.
I can almost feel you,
your breath on my neck.
So close,
that I blush.
Such sweet savour of being apart yet hoping for the miles to truly melt. You have captured this so well. You evoke a very sensous feeling. X
Is there a slight influence here of 'restrained' eastern/non western culture?
Maybe.
'The miles melt between us' certainly has an echo of the east to my mind; the mostly between the lines sentiments also are of that nature.
Understated- but not confined.
P.S
I like the units of sound in each line/stanza.
I almost forgot to say...I like the poem.
My Best
Chris
Very gentle and light of touch, like all your poetry Stella.
'of a life left over after all have grasped their slice and more' echoed a bit with me :-)
Lovely. x
This is lovely, wonderfully soft.
<Deleted User> (8730)
Tue 2nd Aug 2011 10:12
I like the miles melting. I do this by hitcvh hiking and catching the bus
One of your best, Stella.
enjoyed this, stella anyhow but the use of short lines particularly wells for me here.
top stuff x
Lovely!
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Francine
Wed 12th Oct 2011 17:50
This has a very dreamy feel to it...
My favourite lines:
'The miles melt between us.
Shared words
lined with sunshine
are stored for a dark day.'