Attention Deficit
Last year a bus driver in Birmingham was filmed whilst driving his bus and reading a novel at the same time. The film was posted on You Tube and the driver was sacked. I was on the bus.Here's my story.
There's a lot of shops in Selly Oak
and I'm writing down their names
....KwikSave....
to show the wife when I get home
that I'm trying hard to change
....New Look....
I'm on the number 61 bus
after visiting a therapist
....Barking Mad....
I'm on the 61 bus because
I have an attention deficit
....Focus....
I discovered it last Saturday -
well, my missus found it really
....Nightingale Jewellery....
when she came home unexpectedly
as I'm sat down watching telly
....Homebase....
I'd got Horse-Racing from Worcester
and James Brown on a CD
....Dr Fang's Music School....
football on the computer
and I'm reading Dostoyevsky
....Busy Bodies....
all simultaneously
She wore the dress that she'd just bought
and her hair was cut and dyed
....Posh Pets....
and when she asked me what I thought
I unthinkingly replied
....Dragon Fashions Tattoos....
that the Villa are still winning
James Brown's the King of Soul Music
....Topshop....
I've just lost in a photo-finish
and Raskolnikov has blew it
....Selly Sausage....
without bothering to look up
....The Gun Barrels....
She reckoned that I needed help
counselling or a therapist
....Let's Talk....
"You're in a world all by yourself,
you've got an Attention Deficit!"
....Farce and Firkin....
When I proclaimed my innocence
she exclaimed that's just a symptom
....Suizen's Noodle Bar....
of Oppositional Defiance
I watched the 3.15 from Kempton
....People's Dispensary for Sick Animals....
So I went to see the therapist
there were six of us in therapy
....Small World....
and told them about my deficit
but the wife got all their sympathy
....Mud Cafe....
A basic course of CBT
was the therapist's suggestion
....Alternatives Ltd....
how to focus on reality
and pay it full attention
....Acropolis Now....
Curbing selfish tendencies
would brighten the prognosis
....Colour Me Beautiful....
then the others aired their grievances
but I didn't take much notice
....Forget Me Nots....
And now I'm writing down these notes
while on the bus returning
....Kebab Land....
of all the shops in Selly Oak
I pass by on my journey
....Taj Mahal....
and as we're coming to my stop
I feel attentive and alert
....Ali Baba Lebanese Coffee....
but as I'm waiting to get off
my inner harmony's disturbed
....The Nail Bar....
The driver of Number 61
uses elbows for the steering
....Mamma Mia....
and his hands to turn the pages of
the novel that he's reading
....Omar Khayyam....
All the way to town and back
he's weaved his way by magic
....Persian Rug and Gift Centre....
reading On The Road by Kerouac
without glancing at the traffic
....Dotcomicide....
I wrote the name of the therapist
on the back of the driver's book
....Little Shop of Favours....
"You've got an Attention Deficit!
Take my seat in Therapy Group"
....Costcutter....
My need is somewhat less than yours.
How on earth do you drive a bus....?
....Juggling and Kite Shop....
He opened automatic doors
without bothering to look up
....Next....
Ray Miller
Sat 11th Jun 2011 21:00
Thanks, Steve. I think it's a general problem here, that all poems, good and not so good, disappear rather too quickly.Attention Deficit is rife!