Note: No profile exists for this entry - most likely it was deleted.
Though the microphone
might mimic a pistol
and the crowd rattle
javelins at me
I'll put my head in a sling
and dig a tunnel
from my couch
to the local youth centre
pitch between fiddles
and the hurdy-gurdy
be the man who bangs the drum
in rebellion
hammering the doors of heaven
like a comet slipped
out of its orbit
every time you close your eyes
The flow from the second stanza to the third didn't quite work but other than that, loved it. Especially those last few lines, that's a really strong image to end on.
A great subject to tackle - I'm struggling with some of the imagery though - probably me being dense...
I don't get the bit about the couch and local youth centre. I can understand that one might dig a tunnel to escape - like a prisoner of war...
I'm presuming the last verse is to do with heart beat and the fear of losing the audience.
Your poems are never obvious!
Philipos
Sun 12th Jun 2011 19:02
I really liked the uncomplicated lay out of this and the subject matter enough to terrify the feint hearted
Like the juxtaposition of the local youth centre and the doors of heaven, Ray. How did the gig with Cooper-Clarke go?
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
Ray Miller
Mon 13th Jun 2011 10:43
Thanks all.
Greg, the JCC gig is on 25th.
This is still a bit of a mess, I think. I like the rhythm but the content is muddled. It's half a homage to Arcade Fire - I wanna be the man who bangs the drum in Rebellion. And half about stage fright.There's quite a few Arcade Fire references - anyone a fan? Nice to hear from you, Heather.