The woman who smelled of mouse

All blousey in her felt hat

Was in love with the man with the stubbly neck

Who lived with the flea bitten cat.

He admired her red-dyed hair

And her eye liner all skewiff

You could tell that he was enamoured of her

When he started boasting a quiff.

One day I saw him on the bus

Perusing the Argos mag

Engrossed in the pages of engagement rings

(just as my love-life started to flag).

He pondered and scratched his chin

Which one would she like the best?

Perhaps the bright purple amethyst

Might look nice with her cherry pink vest?

And now they sit together

And sometimes they even hold hands

And the 85 bus is a romantic place

Now that they’ve read the banns.

And they show that there’s hope for us all

And that true love can conquer the world

When the stubbly man and his mouse-smelling wife

Joined the flea bitten cat on the scurrilous mat

And purred and purred and purred

And purred and purred and purred

And purred!