(With the finest line of verse ever to come out of Chapel Haddlesey).

Mi firstest poems was yonks ago;

I’ve lost ’em (God be thankst!);

Full of trite naivety

And post-pubescent angst.

Some of them’s political

(I put the world to rights)

I solved world hunger on mi own -

Right On! And Outta Sight!

I took to wearin’ neckerchiefs

As Byron could ‘ave once;

It di’n’t impress mi granddad -

It made me look a ponce.

I pined with unrequited love

(I’d never ‘ad a shag!).

Mi ‘eart ‘ung ‘eavy wi’ chagrin  -

Mi balls like saddlebags.

Owd up! I’ve found mi book of verse!

Filled wi’ arrant pap.

On balance though I ‘ave to say

They beat this loada crap!