Left turn

Floating the edge of insanity
with a torn umbrella
and a book of hello,
written in a thousand tongues.

Not that it matters,
if you stop talking for long enough,
no-one hears when you do.

Pulling at loose threads, knowing
sooner or later they'll come undone
and the tea wont be so cosy anymore,

flip-flop goes the fish on dry land
slowly strangled by the air.

Boxed off and en route,
swaddled, this way up please,
to my comfy cushioned coffer.


◄ My childhood rainbow

just the way it is ►


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Elaine Booth

Fri 28th Jan 2011 18:57

Sorry, Kath, I can't say anything particularly helpful - just that I like this poem a lot.

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Ray Miller

Fri 28th Jan 2011 09:44

Nice poem. You might lose "written",
a book of hello in a thousand tongues.I liked the last verse best, though I think you might swap en route and swaddled around.

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Marianne Louise Daniels

Fri 28th Jan 2011 09:26

I agree with banksy and always like to catch up with what you are writing. Love "slowly strangled by the air" really pushes a sense of futility and dispair.

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Fri 28th Jan 2011 09:13

Great poem - going throught the list of new additions, I took to this straight away - you have a very "easy" way of writing which doesn't jarr & I like it.
Poem - I like it just the way it is.

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Andy N

Fri 28th Jan 2011 08:06

particularly love 'Floating the edge of insanity
with a torn umbrella' but there's a lot of good stuff here, Kath.. Pleased you are writing lots of stuff at the moment (I need to put up some of my stuff - reminds me - lol) xx

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Fri 28th Jan 2011 07:08

This isn't the kind of poem where I would normally comment on technique or imagery but one thing struck me. You could probably lose the 'slowly strangled by the air' and replace it with something else. I think the fact the fish is dying could have been imagined by the reader.

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Ann Foxglove

Fri 28th Jan 2011 06:43

I like this Kath - I love the "book of hello" and the last verse especially. x

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Fri 28th Jan 2011 05:08

I love the quirkiness of this...
I can envision it.
My favourite parts are 1st and 3rd stanzas.

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