Sunny yellow sharps bin
by the sofa side,
blue and green, the bruises,
upon my beaten hide,
dirty orange on sodden sheets
where, in the night, i lay
when Black came in and
ruined me and took my youth away.
the shameful red that
burns below has never left me yet,
Only lessened by the grey
of it's deadened coverlet.
This resonates strongly. Perhaps your purpose is universal empathy rather than personal actuality. Whichever, you show great insight with these tripping, little, rhyming lines whose structure seems to make the subject even more disturbing.
incredibly powerful. x
Very disturbing Cath. No amount of poetry could ever effect catharsis, I think. For me, the only way of moving forward, would be to try to defy all odds - refuse to let anyone destroy the essetial me. No one who hasn't been through the same thing has the right to dish out advice though.
I would LOVE to see you at the Tudor one Thursday though. I'm sure you could rustle a baby sitter up for one night. You'd find a great welcoming crowd there - definitely the best in the North West!
Nothing to add to what the others have said except strong agreement. Very well written, but obviously far more than just a poem
Brief, cutting, powerful - like others, love the colours you've used, and the capitalisation of Black...as you would a name.
Hope it helped you to write it out...it's a hugely powerful piece.
Very powerful. Excellent use of language to convey difficult experiences but you keep it at bay somewhat with the use of colour so that it isn't too harrowing for the reader.
<Deleted User> (7212)
Tue 25th Jan 2011 17:52
a masterful use of words
Your writing is powerful, and this is so distressing...
It made me cry.
xxx
This sort of honesty is tough to write. Hard to read too. Hanging it on the colours of the rainbow is an inspiration.
<Deleted User> (8730)
Tue 25th Jan 2011 14:40
Very good, very sad, these things shouldn't happen,but they do
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Tom
Fri 4th Feb 2011 17:27
This was my favourite Kath, a really powerful, affecting write.